Let Me Love You
by LauraGarthwait
Summary: Tara moves to Charming from Seattle with her high school sweetheart Jace. She is befriended by fellow Surgeon, Donna Winston, who introduces Tara to a whole new world including Jax Teller.
1. Chapter 1

_**TARA POV**_

I scowl in the hospital mirror as I try to pinch some color into my ghostly pale cheeks. I guess the nerves from moving from my hometown to an extremely small town and starting a new job are getting to me after all.

Today is my first day as an attending at Saint Thomas Hospital in Charming, California. I'm not even sure why I let Jace talk me into moving here. I would have made so much more money in Seattle, I just wouldn't have him.

Jace Crawford is my boyfriend. We've been together since high school and went all through medical school together. We're lucky, most people don't get to stay at the same hospital as their significant others but somehow we managed to. We call it fate.

"You okay?" Jace asks, tucking my hair behind my ear. "You look like you're going to vomit."

"Just a little nervous." I reply. I don't know he does it. He's lived in Seattle all of his life too but when an opportunity for two doctors came open, he jumped at it.

"You're a great doctor. You're going to be fine," He wrapped his arms around me, "stop worrying so much." He dropped a kiss to my forehead and walked away to get started. He actually started a few weeks ago so he's already in the swing of things so it's easy for him to say 'don't worry'.

"Tara Knowles?" I spin around facing a girl about my age. This was better than expected, I was expecting the Doctor I was following to be an old crabby lady to be my guide for the week.

"Yes." I nod.

"Hi. I'm Donna Lerner-Winston. I'm going to be showing you around this week. You ready to get started?" She smiled politely at me. She had this odd way of making me feel at ease, I don't know she did it but I was grateful nonetheless.

"Yep. Let's get to it." I follow behind her as she shows me where everything is. This hospital was bigger than I had originally thought but still nowhere near as big as Seattle.

"So what are you specializing in? They didn't tell me." She questioned.

"Pediatrics."

"So the new guy Jace is your boyfriend?" She asks. This girl was definitely chatty, she barely lets me answer her first question before she asks something totally different and off-topic from the original.

"Yeah we've been together since high school." I smile proudly. I know how lucky I am to have him. He's got it all, the looks, the career, the personality. Things aren't always easy, we both have tempers, but he's worth the effort.

"That's awesome." She leads to me to a table in the cafeteria. "I've been with my husband since high school too."

"Wow. You really don't hear of relationships lasting that long these days. Is he a doctor too?" I take a bite of my spaghetti, my nerves have calmed and my appetite is back. I'm starving.

She laughs, "No. Not even close." She shakes her head, still chuckling, "He's a member of the Sons of Anarchy MC."

I'm at a loss, I have no idea what she's talking about.

"It's the mother charter of a motorcycle club here in Charming." She explains, my face must have given away my lack of knowledge on the subject.

"Ah. That's different." I smile. "…But interesting." I add so she didn't think I was rude.

"Yeah, it's definitely different. Not your typical marriage," She sighed, "the doctor and the biker. There's definitely people here who don't understand or agree with it." She frowns, it's pretty obvious that people have been giving her a hard time about her marriage.

"Fuck them." I cover my mouth instantly. That slipped out. "Excuse my language but if he makes you happy and he's good to you then who cares what anyone thinks." I gaze fondly at her. A broad smile took place of the frown.

"Thank you. You're right. Fuck 'em." She giggled. "I'm glad you're here. I have a feeling we're going to be great friends." She winked.

For the first time since Jace and I arrived here, I'm thinking this place isn't going to be so bad and I owe that all to my new friend, Donna.

The rest of the day went by relatively quickly. I had been hoping to run into Jace in the halls but he already got pulled into a surgery so he was nowhere in sight.

"Well that's it for today. You headed home?" Donna asks pulling on her jacket.

"Nah, I'm probably going to head over to the diner for dinner. Jace said he's going to be pulling an all-nighter _again_ so I'm definitely not cooking for just me." The annoyance from hardly getting to see him even though we live together and work in the same hospital coming out a little stronger than I intended.

"You should come with me. Gemma-my husband's best friend's mother is cooking for everyone tonight."

"Oh, I don't wanna intrude. The diner is fine." I unlock my car door.

"Hang on." Donna holds up a finger and starts dialing on her phone. "Hey Gem, do you mind if I bring a friend over for dinner tonight? Cool. Thanks. See you soon." She shoves the phone back into her pocket and smiles up at me. "She said you can come, so see no intrusion. Get your butt in the car."

I laugh at her bossiness. Now I see why they had her 'in charge' today. "Yes maam." I do as she ordered and climbed in her car and send Jace a text so he wouldn't be worried if his surgery ended sooner than expected.

My stomach turned a little when we pulled in a drive way that was filled with motorcycles, clearly she was kidding about a motorcycle gang. Club. Whatever it was.

I follow her inside and there is people in leather vests with reapers on the back and girls hanging all over them everywhere.

"Hey babe." Donna jumped into her husband's arms. He was huge but he had this teddy bear vibe going instead of being scary. I'm almost positive if I ran into him out on the streets, he might come off as a little scarier, but here being all lovey-dovey with his wife fear just wasn't what I was feeling.

"This is my friend Tara. She's the new doctor I was showing around today." Donna introduced me after they finished making out. "This is Opie."

"Hey." Her husband nodded down to me.

"Hi Opie. Nice to meet you."

"You going to introduce me to your friend?"

I was mesmerized by the new person standing in front of me. He was gorgeous- long blond hair, muscular, and blue eyes that looked like they could see right through me.

"This is my friend Tara from work, and FYI she has a boyfriend." Donna glared in him but he didn't pay her any attention, his gaze was fixed on me.

"Nice to meet you Tara," he held on his hand to me. I placed my hand in his and he pulled it up to his lips and kissed it softly. "I'm Jax."

I'm at a loss for words, my brain feels like I'm in a fog. The moment his lips touched my hand, my whole body was on fire, wanting and needing more. I pull my hand away, this isn't right. " _Get a grip, you're just feeling this way because it's been so long since we've been home for long enough at the same time to have sex."_

I nod at him, still unable to speak, I'm grateful to Donna who pulls my arm to come sit down beside her at the end of the table.

Jax sits directly across from me, with a smile playing on his lips. Butterflies filled my stomach, my heart is hammering against my chest, my hands feel sweaty, muscles clenched down deep in my stomach. _'Breathe, he's just messing with you Knowles.'_

I turn my attention to Donna and away from the hot biker who has the ability to make my body feel things it hasn't ever felt before with just a look. If I don't get a grip, this man is going to cause trouble-trouble I don't need or want.

By some miracle, I'm able to get through the rest of dinner. He didn't make it easy, he seemed to enjoy watching me squirm in my seat.

"I need to be getting home. Thank you for dinner Mrs. Teller. It was delicious. See you tomorrow, Donna." I smiled politely at everyone in the room and glanced at Jax one last time before turning away.

' _You rode here with Donna, you don't have your car. Shit.'_ I walk back into the dining room, "Sorry to interrupt but my car is still at the hospital."

"I'll give you a ride to your car darlin." Jax chugged his drink and stood up.

"I can take her." Donna interrupted, climbing out of Opie's lap.

"Jax can take her babe, he'll be on his best behavior, and you need to come in here with me.." Opie trailed off and leaned in and whispered something into her ear. I had a feeling the sexual tension had been getting to her to by her response.

"See you tomorrow, Tara. Jax—behave." She warned and waved at us.

I guess I'm riding with the man I was in a hurry to get away from and on the back of bike no less.

He handed me a helmet and climbed on in front of me. He took my arms and pulled me closer to him, "You need to scoot up close and hang on tight darlin." My body tingled again down low in response to the close proximity.

By the time we pulled up by my car, I could feel the dampness in my panties. I had to get out of here before I did something I would regret.

"Thank you for the ride, Jax. I appreciate it." He helped me off the bike and I handed him his helmet.

"My pleasure. I'm happy to help anytime you need a _ride_." He winked at me but his smile seemed genuine.

"See ya." I climbed into the safety of my car. I gripped the steering wheel tightly and breathed heavily.

When I pulled in at home, Jace's car was in the driveway. _'Thank God.'_ I stripped out of my clothes, hoping he'd not tell me he was tired from an all-day surgery if I was naked. I ran into the bedroom and started kissing him and stuck my hand inside of his boxers stroking him.

"What's got into you?" He asked.

"It's been a week. You're home before midnight. I miss you." I answer before kissing him again.

"Babe. Not tonight. I've been in surgery all day. I'm tired. I've got to be back in at 6:00 in the morning." He kissed me but pulled my hand from his boxers and rolled over.

All of my hope was deflated. I was floored. I know he's tired, surgery drains you, but it's been a week for him too.

I run a hot bath, deciding to soak my frustration away. Jax's scent feels my mind, the burn from his lips on my skin, and before I know it my fingers are inside of me, taking care of myself. I envision his fingers caressing my skin, his lips kissing down my body.

"Tara." Jace's voice pulls me from my fantasy. "Open the door."

I sigh, climb out of the bath, wrap myself in a towel, and open the door. "What?" I ask a little ruder than I intended.

"I wanted to apologize. I'm just stressed out and exhausted. I didn't want to go to sleep before I made sure we're okay." He took the towel from me and dried me off. "…and I heard you moaning in here, so I wanted to see what you were up to."

"Moaning? I wasn't moaning. I was humming." I lie. It must have been convincing because he let it go, which I was grateful for. I felt horrible that I was fantasizing about another man. I've never done that before, Jace has been my object of love and lust for as long as I can remember. This thing was Jax felt all new, foreign.

"So are we good?" He asked again.

"Of course. I know you're tired." I stand on my tip-toes and kiss him quickly before pulling away, feeling guiltier about my bathtub activities.

"Tomorrow evening, I'm all yours." He winked and crawled back into bed and held the sheet up for me to crawl in next to him.

His arms felt nice around me but I couldn't help picturing Jax behind me instead of Jace. _'Forget about him. You have a good man. Don't fuck this up.'_

As much as I fought thinking about him, I couldn't stop him from filling my dreams. This is going to be harder than I thought.


	2. Chapter 2

_**TARA POV**_

Jace was already gone by the time I woke up; it seems passing each other in the hall at work or a quick goodnight kiss before he falls asleep is our new normal. I'm not liking this at all. If he kept his promise and was still around a little more then maybe I wouldn't have been fantasizing about another man last night. ' _Stop putting this on him, he's a surgeon, he's just doing his job, be a better girlfriend and stop thinking about sleeping with other men.'_

' _Staying away from Jax will be easy enough, we come from different worlds. Out of sight, out of mind.'_

As I'm sitting at the red light before the hospital a motorcycle pulls up beside me and someone taps on my window. I look over and my heart feels like it's in my throat, Jax.

"Hi." I say after rolling my window down. He's giving me that beautiful grin.

"Hey." He was still smiling, his eyes penetrating me again.

I smile back, unable to help myself, "Did you need something?" I glance up at the light to make sure it hadn't changed.

"Nah," he winked, "Just wanted to say good morning and have a good day at work beautiful."

My heart skipped a beat, did he just call me _beautiful._ Jace hasn't called me that in a long time, he used to say it every day but not in a long time.

"Thank you. You too." I answered, finally finding my voice.

"I'll see ya later." He smiled, waved and sped off when the light changed.

It took me a second to catch my breath before the car behind me started honking for me to go. ' _Asshole, could a girl get a minute to make sure her heart isn't going to explode.'_

"Hey girl. How was your night?" Donna was waiting for me in the lounge. She looked tired, I was willing to bet that she didn't sleep much after whatever her husband whispered in her ear.

"Mine was fine. I'm assuming yours was too?" I giggle.

"What makes you say that?" Her face is blood red, but she can't hide her smile.

"Lucky guess."

"So was Jax a gentleman when he dropped you off?" Her expression changed, she looked worried.

"Yes. He was very kind. Why do you ask?" Her expression confused me, Jax seemed sweet to me.

"Just checking." She says and turns away before explaining why she asked.

"I get that, but there has to be some reason you asked."

"Jax is a good guy, don't get me wrong, I just don't want to see you screw things up with your boyfriend over him." She gives me a small smile. I had a feeling there was something she wasn't saying.

"Well you don't have to worry about that. I love Jace and wouldn't do anything to mess that up. You do have my curiosity piqued though, you look like there's something you want to say but aren't saying."

"I love Jax. He's been like my brother for as long as I can remember. He will look after his family and friends and fight to the death for them, but when it comes to girls, he's not the settle down type. He doesn't do the girlfriend thing. He has sex and then moves on to the next. He uses sex as an outlet, if he's upset he jumps into bed with the first croweater or porn star he sees, that's just how he's wired. You seem like the settle down type especially since you told me and you and your man have been together since high school, I don't want to see you hurt over someone who isn't capable of anything more than sex."

"It's a good thing I'm not interested in him then." I said the words but in my heart I knew they weren't true. If it were true, I wouldn't feel so sad about this information she just gave me. It's not like I was going to leave Jace for Jax but I still felt an overwhelming sadness.

"Good thing." She nodded but her expression told me she knew different.

I've got to work on my poker face.

"Hey babe. I wasn't expecting to see you." I said sitting next to Jace in the cafeteria.

"Yeah. I've got an hour break; thought I'd spend it with you." He kissed my cheek. I tried not thinking about his lips didn't leave my skin on fire like Jax's did.

"Donna, this is Jace." I introduced the two.

"Hey there. I've heard a lot about you." Donna stated, sitting down across from us.

"All good things, I hope." Jace answered but continued looking at his phone.

"Of course." Donna agreed.

I noticed Donna looking at him and back at me, he had been staring at his phone for ten minutes. I was getting frustrated.

"I thought you said you wanted to spend your hour with me." I ask, a hint of annoyance in my tone.

"I am. Sorry. Work stuff." He answered but still stared at his phone.

"I've got work stuff too, but I'm here with you, not engrossed with everything else." I groan. I don't mean to sound whiny, but he could at least pretend he wants to be here with me.

"Hey ladies." I freeze as I hear Jax's voice. I glance up and Jax and Opie are standing by our table.

"Hey babe." Opie kisses Donna and Jax sits across from me.

"How's your day, Tara?" Jax asks me. Jace looks up from his phone for the first time.

"It's okay." I peek at Jace who was looking from me to Jax.

"How do you know my girlfriend?" Jace finally asks.

"I met him when I went to dinner…"

"I'm not talking to you." Jace snaps, interrupting me, holding up a finger to silence me.

"Easy bro. You don't have to talk to her like that." Jax growls. "I met her last night at dinner with Donna. I was just being friendly, unlike you who seemed more interested in that phone in your hand than the beautiful girl sitting next to you."

"Don't worry about _**MY**_ girlfriend, she's well taken care of." Jace answered before turning his attention back to me. "Can I talk to you _alone_ for a minute?"

"Sure." I got up and followed him across the room to an empty table.

"How do you know those biker thugs?" He hissed at me.

"I tried to tell you before you interrupted. You worked late, Donna invited me to her family's house for dinner. Her husband is a member of the local motorcycle club. They're all really nice." I explain.

" _Nice."_ He scoffs, "I've heard all about how _nice_ SAMCRO is from Hale. They're not nice Tara, they're criminals. Stay away from them."

I glare at him; I've never taken lightly to him being controlling. "I don't care what the rumors are about them. They all seemed nice when I met them. Donna is my friend, I won't leave every time her husband and his friends come around."

"You will do as you're told." He drops his fist down to the table with a boom and everyone in the room stared in our direction.

I hate attention being on me, I always have. "Stop drawing attention to us. If you want to talk, then talk, but don't be a dick." I glance in Donna's direction and I see she's holding Jax's arm like she's holding him back from something. ' _coming over here probably.'_

"Do you love me?" Jace pulls my attention back to him. Why would he ask this, he knows I love him?

"You already know the answer to that." I arch my eyebrows at him waiting for him to explain why he asked that. He had to have a reason.

"Tell me." He orders.

"I love you." I can honestly say it without hesitation, he's been the only person I've ever been in love with. I'm not sure where he's going with this though.

"Good. If you really love me, then promise me you won't see him anymore. I understand Donna's your friend but I don't like that guy, babe. The way he looks at you, I just don't like it. So if you really love me, stay away from him."

' _Jealousy? That's what this is? He's jealous? Wow. I didn't see that coming.'_

"Okay, I will not go over to their place for dinner anymore but if he's here with Donna, I'm not going to eat lunch by myself or run and hide anytime he is near." I reach across the table and take his hand in mine. "I love you. You have nothing to be jealous of." I said the words but if he had any idea the thoughts that were going through my head last night, he would call me a liar and probably move us back to Seattle.

"Fine." By his pout, this wasn't the answer he was wanting but it's the best I can do. I won't try to be near him, but if he's here at the hospital I'll be polite. "I love you too and I'm not jealous, he's just bad news."

I nod. I don't see anything bad about him, but I didn't want to fuel the fire any further.

I see Opie and Jax leaving, Donna's looking in my direction. "I think Donna's waiting on me to get back to work, I'll see you later." I kiss him quickly and throw my trash away.

"Everything okay?" Donna asks. She's looking down at the paper in her hands for the next case we're working on.

"Yeah. I think so."

"Well I guess Jax showing up was a good thing, it got him to pay attention to you. Jealousy is a funny thing." Donna giggled.

"He says he's not jealous but clearly he was. He said for me to stay away from him." I decided not to say them, I didn't want her to think Jace had something against her too.

"Oh. That's too bad. I was going to invite the two of you over for a barbeque this weekend at my house but Jax will be there." She had a sad expression.

"I'm sure we can work something out." I smile. Surely he wouldn't worry so much if he was there too.

"Hey." Jax was waiting for me by my car. "I just wanted to check on you and make sure you were alright."

"I'm fine."

"Good. Things look like they were tense with your boyfriend earlier. I just wanted to check in." He opened my car door for me when I hit the unlock button.

"You came all the way here just to check on me?" This struck me odd, I'm sure he had much better things to do, especially being the VP of a motorcycle club. I don't know what that entails but it seems like it would be time consuming, but yet here he is.

"Yeah."

"I'm fine, thank you for your concern." I smile politely. "I've got to get going though. I hate that you came all the way here for nothing."

"Seeing you was worth it." He mutters, almost too low to be audible.

"See you later." I shut the door and drive home.

I doze off on the sofa when I arrive home. The front door slamming startles me. "Do you want to explain to me what's going on with you and the thug?" Jace shouts at me.

"What do you mean?" I ask groggily. I sit up rubbing my eyes.

"I tell you to stay away from him and then I hear that you are with him in the parking lot." He's shaking from anger.

"He came to make sure I was okay. He was waiting for me at my car." I roll my eyes. He's being ridiculous. It's not like he caught me making out with him in the parking lot.

"Don't fucking roll your eyes at me," he growls, "you promised me that you would stay away from him."

"What did you want me to do? Walk home. He was waiting by my car." I raise my voice to match his.

"You could have got in your car and left, not stand there and talk to him." He hissed.

"You're spying on me now?" I laugh in disbelief. "FYI, I did get in my car and leave. I didn't stand there and talk to him. I found out what he wanted and left, that's all." I crossed my arms over my chest and kept my glare locked on him.

"Are you dumb? Do you really need to ask what he wants? I've asked around about him. He's a player, he fucks random girls on a nightly basis, and you're next on his list. You're a new piece of ass, that's it."

"No actually I'm not dumb. I just don't buy into rumors about people. If I did maybe I would have listened when people told me that you were a self-absorbed jackass who would never love me as much as you loved yourself. Oh wait-maybe I should listen to rumors." I stomped away. I had heard enough. I understand being jealous but this was crazy.

"Get back here," he stormed after me, "I'm not finished talking to you yet."

"I'm finished with this conversation, but if you are so jealous, then maybe you should start taking care of your business in the bedroom."

He grabbed me and spun me around, he looked like he was fixing to hit me before he threw me down onto the bed and jerked my clothes off.

It didn't last long and I didn't orgasm, which had me even more frustrated.

"What did you mean by that earlier? Have you cheated on me or even thought about cheating on me with Teller?" He whispered. I could still sense the anger radiating off of him but he was quiet.

"Seriously. You're still talking about him? No. I've not thought about cheating on you. You should worry a little less about him and worry about me using my trusty little vibrator instead of needing you to do the job." I hated lying to him, but I couldn't just say oh yeah babe, I have thought about cheating on you. I've thought about him running his tongue down the length of my body. I've imagined his fingers stroking my naked body. Just the thought had my muscles clenching tight.

"Just stay away from him." He rolled over away from me.

"I already said I would. I've got to go to the market. You want me to pick up anything?"

"No." He was snoring before I even finished getting my clothes back on.

I stopped by Donna's before the market, I needed a girl talk and she was the only friend I really had here.

"Can I talk to you?" I ask her.

"Sure girl, you know you can." She steps back and lets me into her house. I follow her to the sofa.

"Apparently Jace has people spying on me at work. He knew that Jax was waiting for me in the parking lot."

"Wait, Jax was waiting for you?" She asks, more concerned with that fact than what Jace had done.

"Yes. He said he wanted to check on me after Jace was upset in the cafeteria."

She arched her eyebrows in thought, "He acts really different with you. Checking on a girl is just not his style."

"I don't know girl. I don't know about any of it. Jace spying on me has crossed a line, I have never given him a reason not to trust me."

"I wish I knew what to tell you. He's probably just intimidated by Jax. He definitely has that effect on people. He's probably worried he's going to lose you." She poured me a glass of lemonade.

"Yeah because being a complete dickish-asshole is the way to keep me from leaving. He asked me if I cheated on him, or if I thought about cheating on him."

"I can see his concern," She holds up a finger to stop me before I interrupted her, "I'm not taking his side, but do you not notice the way Jax looks at you? Do you not realize how you look at him? I saw it and I'm pretty sure Jace saw it too."

"No, how do we look at each other? Yeah I see he looks at me like he wants to sleep with me, that's just him though. It's part of his game though. It doesn't mean anything. As far as me, the attention was nice with Jace working so much. Girl, we hadn't had sex in over a week until a few minutes ago so the attention from Jax just had me unbelievably horny but I would have never acted on it." It sounded better in my head than when I actually said it out loud.

"I understand." She answers, "There's something you should know though. I've known Jax along time and I've never seen him look at a girl the way he looks at you. He may have upped his game, but I think it may be more than that. I think he genuinely likes you."

"You're being silly; he doesn't even know me. I'm just a new girl in town, in his case, new pussy to chase."

"Maybe. Whatever you decide to do, just think it through."

"There's nothing to think through. I'm with Jace. I love him. He can be an asshole sometimes but he's still my Jace. Thank you for listening though. I'm thankful to have you in my life. I know we don't really know each other either, but you've been a great friend to me and I appreciate it. I better get to the market though before he wakes up and wonders where I am and we have another argument." I hug her before walking outside.

Jax and Opie are walking up the sidewalk as I walk outside. "You leaving?" Jax asks.

"Yeah. I've got to head out. See you later." I answer, keeping my head down and walking past him, keeping my promise to Jace and trying to stay away from him.

"Is something wrong?" He trots up behind me blocking my car door.

"No. I've just got to get home. Jace will be waking up soon, wanting dinner." I step to the side in an attempt to step around him and get in my door.

"He's a grown man, he can cook his own dinner." He grins. "You can stay and talk to me."

I groan inwardly, "I've got a boyfriend, I've got to get home. Please move."

"And your boyfriend is an asshole that doesn't appreciate you." He steps to the side so I can get in the car but holds onto my door so I can't close it.

"That's your opinion. He loves me and I love him. The rest is none of your business."

He steps back and lets me leave but I see him in my rear view watching me. My heart feels heavy again, sad, I don't know how he makes me feel this way. I have a good man at home waiting on me, but yet it's the man behind me, I'm wanting to see.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's note: This chapter was actually supposed to be part of the last chapter, I'm not sure how it got deleted but I just noticed it so here's the rest of the chapter. Thanks for reading.**_

"Hey girl. What's up?" I was surprised to see Donna standing at my door so late. Something must have happened.

"He wasn't going to hurt you. You took it a little far, don't ya think?"

Maybe it's because it was so late and I had just been pulled from like thirty minutes' sleep, which is actually harder on me than if I hadn't gone to sleep at all but she's not making any sense right now.

"Do you want to come in?" I step aside so she can come in but she just shakes her head and continues glaring at me. "Okay, do you want to explain to me what and who you're talking about?"

"I'm talking about you taking a restraining order out against Jax, citing worrying about your safety with him being in a gang and having him arrested for stalking you. Oh and by the way, it's a club…not a gang. I guess you really thought of all of us as low down thugs." The venom in her words hurt and pissed me off.

"First off, you know I don't think of any of you like that so cut the shit. Second, I didn't take out a restraining order against him or anyone else and I sure as fuck didn't have him arrested. So I don't know…" My words trailed off as I realized who might have done these things. Jace and Deputy Chief David Hale are really good friends, they met while David was in Seattle for six months a few years back.

"FUCK!" I hiss. "I will fix this. I promise." I climbed in my car but it wouldn't start. I know nothing about automobiles but I'm almost certain Jace is behind this too. _'asshole.'_

"Can I get a ride to the police station, please?"

"Yeah. So you really didn't do this?" She asked.

"No." I stare straight ahead, I'm furious. He had no right to go behind my back and do this.

His car was still sitting at the police station. I flung the door open and stormed inside.

"Jace Crawford!" I shouted earning stares from everyone.

"What are you doing here babe?" Jace stepped out of Hale's office.

"Deputy Hale, the restraining order that was filed, destroy it, or I'll take it above your head. It's not valid and I don't want it. Also, if he hasn't been released yet, Jax Teller needs to be released right now. He did nothing wrong. Jace is just jealous and the last time I checked, you can't arrest someone because of jealousy." I turned to Jace, "As for you, this will never happen again. You crossed a line, I "

"I didn't cross a line; I did this to protect you." He interrupted me, holding a finger to my lips to silence me.

I slapped his hand away, "Bullshit. You had someone arrested for being nice to me, it made you nervous to think that someone was showing me more attention than you and I'm almost certain what the two of you did was illegal so LET HIM GO NOW."

"Release Jax Teller." Hale called out to another officer. "Tara, you need to know what kind of man Teller is. He's dangerous. SAMCRO is dangerous. They are involved with gun running; I haven't been able to get anything to stick yet but I'm working on it. They are killers. They're not good people."

"I'll take that under advisement." My whole body trembled. I'm so pissed.

"Babe, wait. I'm sorry. I went about this wrong, I understand that now. Please forgive me." He followed me outside.

"Jace? Hey babe, what are you doing here?" A young female walked up the sidewalk. ' _did she just call him babe?'_

"Who is she?" I look at him and back to this bleached blond bitch.

"I'm his girlfriend, who are you?" She answers for me.

"I don't know this girl, she's crazy." Jace steps forward reaching out his hand to me.

"What are you talking about Jace? We've spent the last week together. You sure knew me when I was riding up and down on your cock. What the hell is this? Who is this bitch?"

"So that's where you've been? You've been with her instead of working at the hospital like you said? Don't lie, it will take one phone call for me to find out."

"Yes. It was a mistake. I'm so sorry baby. Please forgive me." He stepped forward again.

I slapped him as hard as I can, "FUCK YOU. You accused me of cheating on you when in all actuality, you are the cheater."

"You okay girl?" Donna was behind me offering her support.

"Would it be okay if I stayed a few days at your place until I get something of my own?" I ask her.

"Of course."

"Tara, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. It was a mistake; she didn't mean anything to me."

"Fuck you asshole." The blond slapped him too.

"Wow. I guess you just lost both girls. I'll be there soon to get my stuff; I'd appreciate it if you're not there. I'll leave the key on the table." I turned my back to him and went back inside to wait on Jax with Donna.

"Babe." Jace cried out and grabbed at me.

"If you follow me and do not leave me alone, I'll take your lead and file a restraining order. I don't want to do that, just stay away from me." I growled.

"What do you want?" Jax hissed when he saw me.

"Can I explain?" I ask, hoping he'll give me the chance. He gave me a small nod. "I didn't do any of this. It was all Jace. I'm here to make sure they let you go. All charges have been dropped."

"You missed her putting Hale and Jace in their place." Donna giggled.

"I'm sorry he did this Jax. I understand if you're pissed and don't want to see me anymore. I just wanted to make sure they let you go and dropped the charges." I gave him a small smile and turned to leave. I couldn't blame him if he was mad, he was arrested because of me.

"I'm not," he stated, "it's not your fault." Relief flooded over me, I was worried how things would be staying at his best friend's house if he hated me.

"Donna, do you mind coming with me to pick up my stuff just in case he's there?"

"Sure."

"What stuff?" Jax asked.

"I'm going to be staying at Donna's until I can find somewhere to rent." I explained.

"I'll take you." He answered, "I hope he's there."

"Well my car is shot. I don't know what he did to it, _if_ he did something to it. It worked earlier, now it doesn't." I shrugged.

"Well being a mechanic and all, I don't think that will be a problem." He smirked. This was news, the only thing I really knew about his life is him being VP of the motorcycle club.

"Good to know." I winked.

"Well if you got this, I guess I'll head back home and get the guest room set up." Donna stated.

"Later." Jax waved and handed me a helmet.

The house was dark when we arrived. His car wasn't in the driveway. I was thankful he did as I asked and let me get my stuff without his interference. He's probably balls deep in the blond bimbo. It probably didn't take much convincing to win her over.

Jax stayed outside and worked on getting my car started. I packed my stuff as fast as I could, just in case, I didn't want a showdown between the two of them.

"He disconnected your battery." Jax stated. "You're good to go."

"Awesome. Thank you." I threw the duffle bag over my shoulder and picked up my suitcases.

Jax took all of it out of my hands, "Is this everything?"

"All of it that's important. He can keep the rest." I flipped the light switch off and followed him out to my car. He placed the suitcases in the trunk.

"You sure you don't want anything else? I don't think you should let the fucker have anything that's yours."

"I'm sure." I drove to Donna's with Jax following close behind me. He helped carry my bags to the guest room.

I sat on the edge of the bed looking around the room, "Thank you for all of your help. I appreciate it."

"Anytime. Let me know if you need anything else. I'm gonna run out here and talk to Op for a minute."

"Okay. I'm gonna get some rest. Tell Donna I'll see her tomorrow. Goodnight, thanks again."

Jax shuts the door behind him and I fall back on the bed and let the tears fall for the first time since this whole ordeal started. I refuse to let anyone see me cry, I'm not a cry baby by any means. I've dealt with a lot of shit in my years but I never dreamed the person who would screw me over would be Jace.

Our relationship was never perfect. It was hard at times, especially given both of our tempers and our need to be right. We always managed to get through every obstacle we encountered, until now. I just don't see how we can get past this. He lied, he cheated, he made me feel like shit, he tried to hurt innocent people that were only being friendly. He's not the person I fell in love with, he's barely recognizable now.

I just don't understand how he could do this to me, I've never been anything but loyal to him and he does this. It's heartbreaking. It feels as if my heart as shattering into a million pieces.

The light flooding through the window pulled me from my slumber pretty early. My cheeks were tear stained, I must have cried myself to sleep. My head is pounding; it feels as if I spent all night drinking.

"Good morning." Jax greeted, he was standing in the kitchen and handed me a cup of coffee. "I heard you get up so I thought you might want some."

"Thank you." I took a sip of the hot coffee, it was good. Normally I don't drink coffee, I don't really like it, but this was good.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked, I'm sure my appearance gave it away that I slept pretty crappy but at least he was polite enough not to say anything.

"I don't remember going to sleep, so alright I guess."

"I figured, I heard you crying. I wanted to check on you but figured it best to give you your space."

"Thanks." I gave him a small grateful smile.

"Just know I'm here if you wanna talk, okay? I know you've heard about my reputation," He paused and I nodded. "I figured, look I want you to know that I don't want to push you to do anything you don't wanna do. I just wanna be your friend if that's what you need from me. This is all new to me, wanting more than just…" He paused again, thinking of how to word his next statement, "my normal, but I want to be someone you can count on. I want to be here for you however you need me to be. Friend, shoulder to cry on, whatever you need. I'll be here."

The butterflies were back, "Thanks Jax. That means a lot to me. You're very sweet."

"Only with people I care for." He admitted.

I excused myself to take a shower and get ready for work. Hopefully I wouldn't run into Jace, not right now. If I hadn't just started I would call in sick but I can't afford to lose my job now. These next few days are going to be tough, but I have a feeling I'm going to be okay, thanks to my new friends.


	4. Chapter 4

"You know I love you, why are you making such a big deal out of this? It was just sex. I know it was wrong, but it isn't worth throwing away our history babe. Please give me one more chance." Jace cornered me in the supply closet.

"I was at home all alone, I waited on you every night to come home and be with me but you chose to crawl in the bed of some random bitch and then have the audacity to accuse me of being the cheater. I'm all out of chances, I have nothing left to give. I didn't throw away our history, you did."

"You can't do this; I won't let you." He argued.

"Life is all about choices. You made the choice to fuck someone else when I was at home more than willing. Now it's my turn to make a choice, I choose to say goodbye. You forced that choice on me, I didn't want this. I wanted us to get married, but you wanted other things. If it doesn't have anything to do with work, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to look at you. Be the man I know you can be, let me go, don't keep fighting me on this. Move on. Now get the hell out of my way." I shoved past him but he grabbed my arm.

"My parents were right about you all along. You think you never make mistakes; baby you ARE a mistake. You should just go home because you aren't going to make it here. If you're not _with_ me then you won't be needed here. The only reason they hired you is because _I_ persuaded them to. I cheated on you because you are worthless, you are a NO ONE, no one will ever love you the way that I did. No one will ever love you, period. You will just be someone's sex toy, that's it." He pushed past me, knocking me back into the door.

"You know that may be true," I called out to him, he turned to face me, "but I would rather be alone for the rest of my life then have someone like you. I'm a brilliant surgeon, so if what you say is true, then they will either see my worth or they'll regret it one day. Oh and I'm someone, I'm someone who thinks it's hilarious that you're only defense is bad mouthing me, trying to make me feel bad about myself, all you did was show me what a lame-ass loser you really are so nice try sweetheart." I walk away laughing.

I'll never let him know that his words really did hurt. He's always known what to say to hurt me, I just always forgave him, but this time I refuse to let him break me anymore. I have a lot to offer, not just at my job but in a relationship too, he was just too stupid to see it or too stupid to care.

"Hey," Jax sat down beside her in the cafeteria, "I just wanted to check in and see how your day's going."

"It's about as good as expected, thanks for checking on me though. It means a lot that you would take time out of your day to come up here just to check on me."

"That's what friends are for." He bumped me with his shoulder, giving me the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen.

"Everyone's staring." I mutter with a frown.

"They're just jealous of how hot you are." Jax winked, not bothering to look in the direction of any of my 'fans'."

"So your ex is an ass," Donna hissed, sitting down beside us, "apparently he's telling everyone that you cheated on him and that's why you two broke up."

I roll my eyes, "Of course he did."

"There's more," she sighed, as if she didn't want to be the bearer of bad news, "he's telling everyone that you caught an STD. He ended things with you so you didn't bring that shit home to him."

"Nasty bitch." A nurse I hadn't seen before muttered as she walked by.

I jumped up to put the bitch in her place but Jax pulled me back down, "Take a minute, calm down, think this through. If you beat her ass, you'll get fired. Don't let this fucker take this from you. She's not worth it."

I was so mad, I was shaking. He was right, I know he's right, but right now I just want to feel her nose break under my fist.

"What?" He asked looking at Donna, who had her eyes squinted in thought and a smile playing on her lips.

"You just never cease to amaze me." She giggled.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his hand still on my back to keep me from chasing after her.

"You're talking someone out of fighting. I'm just impressed." She explained.

He shrugged, "Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you get fired because of their bullshit. As much as I think the bitch needs to be taught some respect, at least don't do it on hospital grounds. Be smart."

"You're right," I sigh, "I just hate this. I don't understand why he's doing this. I'm not the one who cheated. I don't deserve this. He's trying to ruin my life." I can feel the tears building up but I force them back.

"Hey," Jax held my cheeks between his hands, "you're right, you don't deserve this. He can't ruin your life if you don't let him, besides I can take care of him if you want. Just say the word." He winks, a chill ran down my spine.

"No, that's okay. I'm strong, I can handle whatever bullshit he throws my way."

"Damn right you can, and if you can't we've got your back." Donna added.

"That's right, we've always got your back." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, he looked as if he was going to kiss me, but he took a breath, closed his eyes, and turned back around facing Donna. "I need to get back to TM, call if you need anything."

"I will. I'll walk you out, I need some fresh air anyways." I follow him outside to the parking lot.

"Thank you," he turns around to face me, "for being here even though I'm sure you have better things to do. It means a lot." I lean up and give him a hug.

He holds me tight against his chest, "I can't think of anything better." I feel his lips on the top of my head before he lets me go. "I think we should do something one day this week, when you have time," he climbed on his bike, "just as friends. I know you got out of this relationship and will need time. I will give you as much time as you need, I just want to hang out with you…get to know you better."

"I think I can manage that." I smile, already feeling excited to get the chance to hang out with him without all of the drama and guilt from feeling attracted to him because I was in a relationship.

"I'll see you after work then, we can talk about it more."

I wave. "See…"

"Lying bitch," Jace's voice interrupted what Jax started to say, "you swore up and down that you weren't sleeping with the thug but now your flaunting him around the hospital."

Jax climbed back off his bike and stood beside me. I could sense his anger like it was radiating off of him. He stepped toward Jace, shielding me from Jace's view.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll back off." Jax growled. The dangerous tone of his voice scared me.

"He's not worth it, remember." I rubbed his arm lightly.

"He's not, but you are." He glanced at me, rubbed my cheek softly before turning back to Jace, "This is your last warning. If I hear from anyone that you've been bothering her, spreading lies about her, trying to get her fired, whatever bullshit you've got cooked up," Jax stepped up, Jace backed up into a car, he was cornered. "I'll kill you."

The fear in Jace's eyes proved he believed every word Jax said.

"One more thing," Jax said, "you're going to tell everyone what a lying piece of shit you are. If you don't, this won't be the last time you see me."

"You want to end up back in jail, don't you?" Jace choked out. He was scared, but was trying hard not to show it.

Jax laughed, "You think I'm scared of jail or David Hale? You've got a lot to learn." He backed up so Jace could leave. He didn't even look in my direction.

"He will use the cameras," I nodded up toward the parking lot cam, "as evidence against you and probably try to use it against me too."

"He won't bother you anymore." Jax rested his forehead against mine. "If he does say or do anything else, you have to let me know."

"I will. I have to get back to work now. I'll see you later." I felt as if I was floating. I hadn't felt this cared for in a long time, especially by just a friend.

"Bye beautiful." He winked.

"So Jace thought it would be a good idea to approach me outside with Jax there." I shake my head, walking up to Donna.

"Damn, I knew I should have walked out with you guys. What happened?" Her full attention was on me now, waiting to hear the story.

"In short, Jax told him if he didn't stay away from me and if he didn't tell everyone what a liar he was, he'd kill him." I paused, "He wouldn't really kill him though, right? He was just trying to scare him?"

She bit her lip, I could tell she was unsure of what to say, "We'll talk more about this tonight. This is definitely not the place for this conversation." She glanced around making sure no one was in ear-shot.

I nodded, "Right. Sorry."

"Do you think I'm scared of your boyfriend?" Jace grabbed me by my hair and jerked my head backwards. He had his hand over my mouth to silence my scream. "You move to California and get mixed up with gang-bangers."

"You're hurting me." I squirm, trying to pull away from him.

"That's the point, bitch. You tried to humiliate me." He pulled harder and pushed me up against the bathroom stall. "See how easy I got to you?" He moved his hand around my throat and squeezed. "People here follow me. They don't care about you. I could end you right here and no one would care. They wouldn't even miss you. If you fuck with me again, or tell anyone about it, this and more will happen again." He let go of my throat and rubbed his hand against my vagina through my scrubs. "Do NOT fuck with me again."

I did the only thing I could do. I brought my knee up as hard as I could watching him fall to the floor as my knees crunch into his manhood. "I'm not the weak little girl I once was. _**YOU DON'T FUCK WITH ME.**_ "

"You bitch." He cried out in pain.

I left him there, holding onto himself, yelling obscenities at me feeling proud of myself for doing whatever I could to defend myself. He scared me but I didn't cower down, I stood my ground. It's progress.

I pushed through the restroom door. He was smart, he had a janitor guarding the door. "He needs your assistance." I growled at him. I could see the janitor was nervous, he hadn't been expecting me to the one to exit the bathroom and see him.

I promised Jax I would tell him if anything happened but I wanted to deal with this myself. I don't want to see Jax get into trouble for trying to defend me. I don't need a man to defend me, I can do this myself. This is something that no one else needs to know about.

 _ **Author's Note: Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I'm so happy you are liking the story. I've been thinking about this one for a while. I do have a question for you though (you can answer when you leave your reviews on here, facebook, or send me a PM) Would you rather have daily updates of short chapters like this one and the last three or more time in between updates with longer chapters?**_

 _ **Again thanks for reading and taking the time to review. You all are awesome!**_


	5. Chapter 5

"You ever pull a stunt like that again, YOU'RE DEAD!" I read the note that fell from my locker to the floor.

"What's that?" Donna asked, reading it over my shoulder. "You need to show it to Jax."

"He's just upset; he would never physically hurt me." I lie. It's very possible that he would but I didn't want or need Jax dealing with my problem. I shoved the note in the pocket of my jeans.

"You should still tell him. You promised him you would." She added.

"I will, eventually. Please just let me handle this?" I plead.

"Fine. Just be careful. I don't trust him especially after what he pulled with the restraining order shit. He will think he's untouchable with David Hale in his pocket."

"I will. I'll see you later." I wave at her as I walk to the parking lot.

"Hey, everything okay?" Jax jogs up to me as I pull into TM.

"Yeah. I'm just needing to get an oil change."

"Aight. I'll have Lowell take care of it. How was work? Did he bother you anymore?" He took my keys to give them to the mechanic.

I froze, "Work was fine. How are you?" ' _It's not lying if you don't answer the question.'_

"I'm good, we're fixing to head out though. We've got to go up to Nevada for a couple of days."

"Oh…" This news saddened me but it's all a part of his job, I guess.

"Hey," he lifted my chin up, "it's only a few days and then I'll be back." He winked at me and gave me that crooked little grin, which caused me to laugh out loud.

"Good to know." I winked back at him.

"So did he bother you anymore?" ' _Shit. Why couldn't he just let it go?'_

I for sure can't tell him the truth now, he'll overreact and won't go on his trip with his friends and I don't want to be the reason that happens.

"Nope," I fake a smile, "he's followed your not so subtle advice."

"Good. Fucker's smarter than he looked then."

"Maybe you just scared him."

"Jax, we've got to hit the road. Let's go son." JT called out.

"Yea…" Jax nodded. "So I'll see you in a few days. If you need anything, call me." He pulled me in for a hug, "Take care." He smiled down at me.

"I will. Be safe." I hug him one more time before pulling away so he can go before someone starts giving him shit for holding up the line.

"So what's the deal with you and my son?" Gemma stood beside me, waving at them as they pulled out of the lot.

"Nothing. We're just friends." I reply.

"MmHmm." She smirks, "You both looked very friendly." She chuckled and walked back to her office. "Come with me sweetheart, we'll get a drink while you wait on your car."

I follow her into the office, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"He'll be safe doing whatever he's doing on his trip won't he?" I felt stupid asking this but I can't help but worry about him after the rumors I've heard about SAMCRO.

She gave me a thoughtful look, "He'll be just fine baby. He's got a lot of people watching his back."

I nod, "That makes me feel better."

"You and that Doctor split?" She asked.

I wondered how she knew about Jace but Charming is a small town and don't get many outsiders so that's probably it. "Yeah, he's a lying cheating jackass, but it is what it is.

She nodded, "You are a strong woman, keep your head up."

"I try." Lowell hands me my keys back, "I should get going, thanks for the drink and talk Mrs. Teller…Gemma." I correct myself. She had already asked me to call her Gemma more than once.

"You're welcome, don't be a stranger. You're welcome here anytime."

"Hey sleepyhead," Donna lightly shook me, "are you going to eat dinner."

"Nah, I ate before I laid down. I've got a headache. I'll see you tomorrow." I close my eyes.

"Okay, well I'm taking the day off tomorrow. I think I'm pregnant. I'm going to have some tests ran."

"What? Yay! I'm so happy for you girl. Congratulations!" I hug her.

"Thanks girl. Goodnight." She left the room.

"Bitch." Jace hissed walking past me in the hall.

"What is this middle school? Are we twelve? Grow the fuck up." I growl. Today is not my day. Donna's not here, I haven't heard from Jax, I've been dealing with random people talking shit to and about me.

He spun around, "and kicking people in the balls is the epitome of being mature?"

"No, that's called self-defense, asshole!" I growled.

He looked around to make sure no one was looking, "We'll deal with this later, bitch." He gave me a sadistic grin and walked away.

I saw Donna walking from the OB wing. "Hey. So how'd it go?"

"I'm pregnant." She shrieked, smiling from ear to ear.

"That's awesome girl. I'm so happy for you and Op. Speaking of, have you heard from him? Did they make it okay?" I feel stupid for asking, he's not obligated to text me, but I was still expecting him too.

"Yep, they made it late last night." The excitement was still rolling off of her.

"Oh that's good." I must have frowned because she gave me a knowing expression.

"He tried to call you. Your phone is disconnected." She stated.

"What? Ugh. That stupid fucker." I hissed. I didn't even think about my phone plan being in his name. "He turned my phone off."

"I figured. There's a phone store in Lodi if you want to go when you get off work."

"Sure," I nod, "I get off in a few more hours."

"I'll meet you here when you get off."

The rest of the day went by without any more problems. I feel better now that I know he did at least try to call me. I'm not sure why the thought alone made me feel better but it did.

"Why are you all smiles?" I arch my eyebrows when I get in Donna's car.

"Oh nothing," she giggled, "I've heard some stuff about Jax I thought you'd be interested in."

"What?" I was definitely curious.

"There was a party to welcome the guys last night, booze, women were throwing their rancid pussy at the guys…especially Jax." She paused, letting the information sink in, "He refused it and that's not Jax, as I have once told you, but he did."

I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face, I never imagined this. I wouldn't have even asked him to turn down sex because we're just friends, but for some reason he did. "Seriously?"

"Yep." She smiles, "He's even more into you than I thought."

"I doubt it. Maybe he just wasn't horny."

She laughed the loudest laugh I had ever heard her laugh, "It's Jax Teller, we're talking about, he's always horny. He refused those nasty whores because of one thing, _YOU._ "

I decided to change the subject, "Did you tell Opie about the baby?"

"No. I want to tell him in person, so when you talk to Jax, don't mention it."

I texted him when I got my new phone turned on, " _Hey, I heard you tried to call me but Jace turned my phone off. I'm sorry I didn't even realize it until Donna told me you tried to call. I hope you are doing okay up there. Have a good day."_

It didn't take long for a text back, _"Things here are ok beautiful. I'll call u tonight…if that's cool with u."_

" _Sounds good. Can't wait. I miss hearing your voice. =)"_ I blushed and instantly regretted adding that part in but it was already done.

" _I miss u too babe."_ He replied.

"Someone must have said something right." Donna laughed, watching my facial expressions.

"Shut up." I giggled.

Despite all of the shit that Jace was trying to pull, I feel completely at ease and happy.

"Hey beautiful," He greeted when I picked up the phone, "how's your night?"

"It's great…now. How are you? How are things there?" I wanted to ask him about the girls but he took time away from them to call so maybe Donna's right, maybe I do mean something to him.

"Things here are okay, I'm ready to be back home though."

"When are you coming home?"

"We're leaving tomorrow. The old man wanted to stay until Friday but I talked him into coming back tomorrow. We're finished with our business so we can come back anytime."

"You sure you're ready to come back," I ask, "I've heard about all of the um…prospects there throwing themselves at you." I blurted it out before I even thought about it.

"Yeah. I'm sure. I'm not interested in any prospects here." I could imagine his smile and it gave me butterflies. ' _How does he do that?'_

"Well that's good because work is no fun without you just randomly showing up." I giggle.

"I'm sorry. I'll bring back your joy soon." He laughed with me.

"Such a gentleman." I yawn.

"Yes ma'am. You sound tired. Get some rest. I'll see you soon."

"Okay. Goodnight. Be careful on your way back."

"Goodnight babe." He hung the phone up.

I couldn't wait until he was here. I was never expecting him to be this sweet given the things Donna and everyone else said about him and I definitely wasn't expecting to like him this much.


	6. Chapter 6

The sound of Harley's in the distance had my heart skipping a beat, he's back. It's only been a few days since I laid eyes on his beautiful face, but it feels like a lifetime. I was able to switch shifts with someone so I was able to be here when he gets back.

"He's here," Donna jumped up and down excitedly, "I can tell him the baby news."

I'm so happy for her and Opie, they will make great parents. "Yay- he's going to be thrilled."

I can't stop the smile when Jax pulls onto the lot, he's anxiously looking around the lot until he locks eyes with me, then he smiles radiantly and rushes toward me.

"Hey gorgeous," he pulls me in for a hug, "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too," I wrap my arms around his neck and gaze into his eyes, "I'm glad you're back."

He brought his lips to mine, softly.

"Wow," I gasped when we broke apart, "that was…"

"Yeah," he agreed, tightening his grip around my waist "you are amazing."

"Pshh, there's nothing amazing about me," I scoffed, "but thanks for thinking there is." It felt nice to feel wanted after being treated like shit.

"There is," he disagreed, "you are the most beautiful, smart, talented, woman I've ever known. You had me hooked from the first day I laid eyes on you and I can't wait to see where this is going."

"Me too," I agreed without a second thought, or hesitation, "it will take time to get past all of my shit with Jace, but I want to take things to the next step, if you are sure that's what you want. I've been in a cheating relationship so I don't want to go there again, so if you're not sure you can be with only me, then I think we should remain friends."

"Baby, I only want to be with you, any of the guys will tell you. They think I'm a pussy and that's okay, I want this," he held both of my hands, "with you. No one has ever made me feel the way you do and I don't know how you do it, but I want to spend every day trying to figure it out."

"Okay." I whisper with a smile.

"So we're doing this?" He questions.

I nod, "I'm in."

"HEY EVERYONE," Opie whistles calling attention to the crowd. "We're having a baby."

The entire lot was filled with everyone yelling their congratulations.

"Op's gonna be a dad?" Jax murmured.

"Yep. It's great, isn't it?" I smiled. I'm truly happy, not just for my friends but for me too. I didn't plan on becoming Jax Teller's girlfriend, at least not right away but I couldn't resist his undeniable charm.

"Congrats bro. This is awesome!" Jax gave Opie a side-arm hug, he refused to let me go with his other hand.

"Thank man, so what's this?" Opie gestured at us holding hands, "You finally ask her out?" He chuckled.

"Yep—he did." I lay my head against his shoulder.

"Bout damn time. Congrats to you too then, now maybe you'll stop bitching about how you wish she was yours."

"Fuck you." Jax smirked but turned his attention back to me, "what time do you have to be at work?"

"In a little while actually." I make a pouty face.

"Damn, I was hoping you'd have more time to hang out."

"I know, me too. Sorry." I sigh.

"It's okay, I'll give you a ride to work and then I'll see you after." He kissed my forehead.

"So you sure everything has been good at work? Anyone bothering you?"

I don't want to start our new relationship with a lie, but I don't want to tell him the truth about Jace either. Decisions, decisions. "Things have been okay. He's upset with me, I know that, but it's all good." Technically, that wasn't a lie. Jace is upset with me and everything is all good now, better than all good actually, things are great.

"Good." I was relieved that he let the subject drop instead of pressing for more details.

"I guess I'll see you later," I sigh, "I should have stuck with my original shift, I'd be getting off right about now instead of going in."

"Sorry babe, we should have made it back on time and we would have more time together."

"It's okay. I'll see you after work." I kiss him quickly before climbing out of my car. I was surprised he drove me in my car instead of on his bike, but at least this way we got to talk a little bit more.

"I'll walk you inside," he states taking me by the hand, "it's a little bit more time." He grins.

"Have a good night," he cradles my face in his hands, "I'll see you later." He brings his lips to mine and kisses me passionately. Now I really don't want to be here, I can think of much better things to be doing with this night than working.

I wave unable to verbally respond due to panting so heavily. I notice Jace's nurse friend standing at the top of the staircase staring down at Jax and I. At this moment, I couldn't care less.

The hours are dragging by. It doesn't help that I keep replaying that kiss in my head and I'm anxious to get back to him.

"You said you weren't cheating on me," Jace fell into step beside me, I didn't even know he was here, "you could have at least been honest with me about it."

"You're one to talk about being honest," I snapped, "but I wasn't cheating on you. I was the only one in that relationship that was honest."

"Well this looks like you were." He held up a picture of Jax and I from earlier.

"That," I point at the picture, "is from tonight. You and I are not together anymore because YOU cheated on me, so therefore, I did NOT cheat on you. I don't owe you an explanation but Jax and I were nothing more than friends until today."

"Of course that's what you'd say." He scoffed, his words were sarcastic but his expression and tone are more heartbroken than anything. I almost feel bad for him, almost, but not quite.

"It doesn't matter to me if you don't believe me. As I said, I don't owe you an explanation. As a matter of fact, I don't owe you anything, so what is it you want exactly?"

"I love you." He muttered. "I miss you."

"Things not work out with the bitch you cheated on me with or with the girls here you've got chasing after you?"

"Of course they won't work out, I'm meant to be with one person, YOU. Give me another chance." I was not expecting this, given the way things were left yesterday.

"You think I would even consider giving you another chance after the way you have treated me? I'm not even talking about you cheating on me, that was low enough, but the shit you did after that. I'm talking about you going as far as leaving a threatening note in my locker. Do you really think I'm just going to let that go? Get real, Jace. You have the potential to be a great boyfriend to someone, just not with me. That ship has sailed. I really hope we can move past all of the threats and bullshit now and just be civil, maybe one day in the distant future, we can be friends again, but that's all we will ever be-if even that."

"You'll want me one day when Teller breaks your heart. It will be to late then."

"I'll take my chances." I walked away before he could reply. He really did have the potential to be a great guy, if he'd stop being a controlling asshole, who threw a tantrum anytime something didn't go his way.

" _I'm running a few mins late, I'm sorry, be there soon."_ I read the text from Jax as I clocked out. I walk out into the darkness, it's definitely quiet here, the parking lot is deserted.

"Why do you make me do this? I never wanted to hurt you." I heard the words before my brain registered what was happening and then everything went black….


	7. Chapter 7

_**JAX POV**_

"Can you let Dr. Knowles know that her ride is here please?" She told me she would be outside but I didn't see her anywhere and she's not answering her phone.

"U….Uh…huh." The lady at the desk stammered and blushed. She was cute, if I was single I'd be taking full advantage of her obvious attraction for me. She fumbled with the phone to do as I asked.

"Thank you." I lean up against the desk waiting.

"I'm sorry sir, Dr. Knowles isn't here. She has left for the night. Someone seen her leaving a few minutes ago."

I look around outside one last time before deciding to head back to Donna's, maybe she got tired of waiting for me. JT called church right before it was time to pick her up.

"Hey, is Tara here?" I ask Donna as I walk through the door.

"No, I thought you went to pick her up?" Donna looked up at me from her book.

"I did, they said she already left." I sat down, a little annoyed, if she was going to go somewhere else she could have let me know.

"She'll probably be here soon then." Donna answered and started reading her book again.

Donna picked up her phone, "Tara, when you get this call me back asap. It's been two hours since you should have been home. I'm worried about you especially since the note in your locker."

My head snapped up, "What note?" I asked after she hung the phone up.

She had a nervous expression, "I promised I wouldn't say anything." She mumbled.

"What note?" I asked again—my tone louder.

"There was a note in her locker that said if she ever pulled a stunt like that again, she'd be dead."

I froze. "Why didn't you tell me?" I growled.

"She made me promise, she said she wanted to handle it-him-herself. I didn't think anything of it until now when she's not here."

"You know her ex better than any of us," Opie spoke softly to Donna, "would he hurt her?"

"I don't know. She said he wouldn't, but I don't know."

"I've got to…" Someone knocking on the door interrupted me. Donna jumped up to answer it.

"What are you doing here?" She asked the person at the door.

"I need to talk to you about your friend." He answered and she let him in.

"You know where Tara is?" I ask.

"Not exactly but I know who she's with." He replies, looking nervous. "She's with Jace Crawford."

"How do you know that?" Donna asks. "She wouldn't just leave with him. So what's going on?"

He took a breath, "Jace has been harassing her for days. He's had me guard a restroom door so he could go in and talk to her or whatever he was doing." He held up his hands in surrender, "He said he only wanted to talk to her or I never would have agreed."

I clench my hands into fists at my side, "did he hurt her?"

"I think he tried," he took a step back instinctively, "when he cornered her in the restroom but she kicked him in the balls or something and got away. He was furious. He left her a note saying he'd kill her if she ever did that again. He told me tonight, he tried telling her he missed her and wanted her back but she refused him. He said if he couldn't have her, no one could and then he disappeared. I saw him put her into his car."

"Did you notify the police?" Donna asked before I could say anything.

"I told Hale. He said he would take care of it."

"Hale is Jace's BFF, he won't do shit." Donna hissed.

"That's why I'm here." He shrugged.

"Two hours later." I growl, "If anything happens to her. This is going to end very badly for you. You're going to help me find them."

The fear in his eyes was obvious, he was regretting coming here. It was clear he didn't think he'd be held accountable for his role in my girl's disappearance.

"I don't know where he is." He mumbled.

"You better think…hard." Opie answers. "We will find her bro" He was already on the phone with the rest of the guys.

"I'm going to go to his house, don't let him out of your sight." I'm already out the door. I honestly don't think he's there but I have to try everything.

The guilt and blame are killing me; I should have dealt with that fucker that day in the parking lot.

The house is pitch black; no one is there. The drawers are still open; it looks like he packed in a hurry.

' _FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! When I find this fucker he's going to wish he'd never laid eyes on my girl.'_

"House is empty." I announce when I get back to Opie's house.

"He mentioned something about finding an abandoned cabin somewhere, if he's desperate maybe he took her there." The janitor spoke.

"Where?"

"I don't know, he didn't say. I'm sure it's close though, he doesn't know the area well enough for it to be too far."

"Let's go." I pull him up by the collar of his shirt, and throw him in the car to take a ride to the clubhouse, hopefully the guys know where the cabin could be.

' _If you were on time, this wouldn't have happened. This is all your fault.'_ I grip the steering wheel tighter until my knuckles turn white.

I can't believe this is happening. I've never been this worried in my entire life, I've dealt with a lot of shit growing up in SAMCRO, but this is different. I've never cared this much about a girl this much. I have to find her. I won't give up. I'll search every acre of this town if I have to until I see her sweet face again. _'I'm coming for you babe, just hold on.'_ Every second that passes feels like someone is sucking the oxygen from my lungs, I need to see her, I need to see she's safe.

Author's note: A short chapter to let you see how Jax feels about all of this. Most of the story will be in Tara's POV, but I wanted his reaction to be known as well.

I'm leaving for vacation Friday so there's a chance there won't be anymore updates until I get back next week. I'll try to have one for you tomorrow.


	8. Chapter 8

_**TARA'S POV**_

The throbbing of my head pulled me back to consciousness. "What is going on?" I muttered, tugging against my restraints. My hands were tied above my head to the bedpost.

"Ah you're awake, good. I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean to hurt you. All of this is just necessary until you remember that _I'M_ the man for you. We're meant to be together. All of this shit, was just a test, we can pass the test babe. We just can't give up on each other." He sat on the bed beside me, stroking my hair.

"So knocking me out and kidnapping me is all part of a test?" I hiss.

"I wish it didn't happen like this. I just needed you to hear me out. You have no idea how sorry I am that I hurt you. I love you, Tara."

"Then let me go." I purr, playing on his obvious emotion.

"I wish I could," he cries out, "if I let you go; you will run off and won't give me a chance to explain."

"Untie me, I will not run. I will hear what you have to say. I promise."

The tears in his eyes tugged on my heartstrings. _'What the hell is wrong with you, Knowles, he knocked you out and kidnapped you. Don't feel sorry for him.'_

He moved to untie me, "I know I'm an asshole. I've made so many mistakes since we got here-in Charming-I took you for granted. I thought you'd always be there, I was cocky. I never imagined you'd leave me behind, but when you did I didn't know how to deal with it. You're my Tara, the love of my life, and I messed that up. You have no idea how sorry I am." He was visibly sobbing now, "I just need to know you can forgive me. I need you, Tara, I can't live without you. You're a good person, a healer," he took my hands in his, "heal me babe, you're the only person who can. We can get married, I know I was against marriage before, but that's all I want now. You, me, a house full of kids."

I have no idea what to say, I know there's no way I'll ever take him back but I need to be smart, if I say the wrong thing, he could snap. He's very unstable. That much is obvious.

"I will eventually forgive you, Jace. You were my entire world for a long time, but it will take time. I need time, can you give me that? You owe me that much after everything."

"Yes. As long as I know you can forgive me and we will one day be together again, we will eventually be okay and this will all be a bad dream." He looked relieved, the smile I used to adore on his lips.

"Okay, take me back home. Please."

"To him?" He frowns.

"To Donna's, we will figure out what's going on another day. Right now, I'm just tired and my head is killing me." _'and to Jax but I'm not going to tell you that psycho.'_

"Okay. Sorry about your head." He mutters. "Let's get you home."

"Thank you." I smile as sweetly as I can manage.

"Tara?" The door bangs against the wall after it was kicked in, Jax on the other side. "Thank fuck," he rushes to me, "are you okay? Did he hurt you?" He held me against his body.

"He didn't hurt me." I lie, but behind his concern for me is a rage that worried me.

"Go outside with the guys, I'll be out there in a minute." He kissed me quickly before letting me go.

"What are you going to do?" I ask, not moving.

"You don't need to worry about that. Just go outside, please." He nudges me toward the door.

"No," I hold my ground, "let him go. He didn't hurt me, just let him go." I don't know why I feel the strange need to protect Jace, clearly he needs help, but I can't just walk away and let them hurt him.

"Babe, I can't do that." Jax protested.

"I'm not asking." I fold my arms up and move to stand in front of Jace, "let him go."

I could tell he's getting pissed, I'm sure he doesn't understand what's happening, why I'm defending Jace, hell I don't even know why I'm doing it.

"Take her outside," Jax muttered to one of the guys by the door. "I'm sorry, but this has to be done."

"If you do this," I struggle against the guy they call Happy's hold, "then tell me goodbye now. I will cut all ties with you." The words caught in my throat.

"Let her go." Jax growled and turned to Jace. "She just saved your life. Leave Charming, if I ever see you here again, I won't stop. Do you understand? GO NOW, before I change my mind."

Jace stared at me for a moment, "Go." I mouthed.

"Give me a minute with her." Jax ordered and the guys left the room without a word.

"What the hell was that?" He glared at me, frustration and confusion evident in his expression.

"He didn't deserve to die." I shrug.

"He knocked you out and kidnapped you." He scoffed and balled his hands into fists.

"How did you know he knocked me out?"

"The janitor that guarded the door when he tried to assault you in the bathroom saw him. This is what I do, Tara. I don't stand by and let fuckers hurt the people I care about."

"I'm sorry. I didn't grow up in this life, so beating someone to a pulp or worse is not okay with me, especially if it's because of me. I know this is maybe what you do and something I'll have to get used to if I want to be with you but I will tell you now, that I'll never like it or agree with it." I take his hands in mine. "I want to be with you, Jax, I can see myself loving you one day but I couldn't let you hurt him. Forgive me, please?"

"I'm not mad at you, Tara. I'm just trying to understand how you wanted to let him walk away after the things he's done to you. Don't you think if he did it once he's capable of doing it again?"

"I'll be more careful. Let's just move on, please?" I step toward him and rest my head against his chest, feeling relief when he finally wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head.

"I'm glad you're okay. If he would've hurt you any worse than he did, I wouldn't have stopped no matter what you said. It took all I had to stop today, I won't be able to do that again. He better stay away and you better not ask me to again if he doesn't."

The venom in his words were terrifying. If he ever sees Jace again, I have no doubt that he will act without a second thought, without any hesitation, this is what he does. He said it himself.

 _ **Author's Note: This chapter was rushed, I didn't want to leave you with the cliffhanger until next week, but I hope you enjoyed it!**_

 _ **Have a great weekend! I'll update more next week!**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**JAX POV**_

"Track him down and don't let that fucker out of your sight. Take one of the boys with you." I whisper to the prospect; I will deal with him later. Tara is more important right now.

Half-Sac nodded without saying a word, he understood the need for discretion given the circumstances.

"Come on babe. Let's get you home. It's been a long day." I pull Tara into my side, grateful that I found her in time and she's here-safe-in my arms.

She was quiet, almost to quiet, "How are you feeling? How's your head?"

She glances in my direction, "my head is fine. What did you whisper to your guy?"

"He had asked before we got here if he could bail once we found you, he had an appointment, he's getting a glass ball. He's kind of embarrassed about it." I smirk, hoping she can't see through my bullshit. I hate lying to her, he really is meeting with a Doc for that-just not now.

"Ohhhh." She replied, her face flushing red, but letting the subject drop.

"Would you really _kill_ him?" She asked in a whisper, her voice cracking on the word kill.

"If someone hurt you, your damn right I would." Her disappointed expression confused me. Does she expect me to just stand by and do nothing if someone hurts her?

"I guess it's a good thing no one hurt me then." She stared out the windshield. I suddenly wished I would have taken my bike back instead of the car the prospect drove up.

"I guess so." I grip the steering wheel tighter. I wanted to shout that someone did hurt her and that someone would pay for it very soon but given her ultimatum, I can't tell her that. "I'm glad it didn't come to that; I would lose my mind if something happened to you."

Just like that, her smile brightened up the dreary car, "Really?"

"You are important to me, babe. If you weren't, I wouldn't be here." I return her smile.

"You're important to me too, Jax."

'Then why would you end things with me because I defended you.' That's what I wanted to say but of course, I didn't. "Good to know." I wink at her.

She rested her head against the window, holding my hand in her lap.

Is revenge worth the risk of losing this perfect woman who has done the impossible? She's made me want more-more than just a random fuck from countless girls-she's made me want an old lady, she's made me want HER. She's stolen my heart without even trying but revenge and retaliation is what I do, it's what I know. Can this girl change that?

**************************** _ **TARA'S POV********************************_

It's funny how things can change so drastically in just a few days or even a few hours.

Just a few days ago I was sure that Jace Crawford would be the man I married, the man I had kids. I was blinded by him, I honestly thought he loved me the way I loved him. The longer I sit here, I see it wasn't love, not completely, it was control. He had complete control over me, and I didn't even realize it. In Seattle, he was all I had with the exception of a few friends. I have no family. The day of my ninth birthday my mother-my best friend in the whole world-was murdered. The night of her funeral my father-for lack of a better word-brought home her best friend to help take care of me. I'll never forget the moans that came from her bedroom, I've hated him and her since that day.

Jace was my rock, he was there for me anytime he needed me. I believe what we had in the beginning was love, but I think the love for him faded after a while. He liked that I would do whatever he wanted me to do, because he was all I had. He liked that he could spin his mistakes and failures into being my fault, and I would take his cruel words and forgive him. He liked having the power to pull me from the only life I had ever known and moved me to another state, away from my friends.

When we got here, he told me he was going to go ahead and start but they didn't need me to start for a few weeks. I see now, that was more control, he was getting to know people-making alliances. He wanted me at home, wanting and needing him, rather than making new friends here. It was all about me depending on him.

Things began to change when I finally started, I met Donna, we hit it off instantly and he didn't like that, especially when Jax became involved. He knew that I was finding myself here, more than I had ever done back home. It was like Charming was always where I belonged, which meant my dependence on him was fading. He didn't really want me, but he didn't want to let me go either.

I know what kind of person he is; so why did I defend him? Why did I risk losing Jax-the guy who has been incredibly sweet and understanding since the beginning. The guy who would apparently commit capital murder to defend me? Why do I have to be so stupid and kind hearted? He asked me if I still had feelings for Jace, maybe I do, but not in the way he thinks. I don't want to be with him, I'm not that stupid, but it's not easy to turn off any feelings for him either. I don't want to ever see him again, but I don't want to see him hurt either.

I throw my head back against the seat, _'stupid caring complicated heart.'_

"You sure you're okay?" Jax questioned, glancing at me before looking back at the road.

Most of the ride had been quiet, he was letting me sort through my feelings and I'm beyond grateful for that.

"Yes. Just tired." Of course I can't tell him the internal battle I'm facing. I want to make things easier for us not complicate them further. I'm sure he's still upset about earlier, in his eyes, retaliation was the only solution.

He squeezed my hand gently, "we'll be home soon and then you can rest."

I nod and give him a small smile. "Thank you."

"For what?" He asked as he pulled into Donna's driveway.

"Rescuing me and letting him go even though it was extremely difficult for you to do so. You have no idea how much it means to me for you to put my peace of mind ahead of your own need for justice. You are a good man, Jax Teller." I run my fingers through his hair and stare into his beautiful eyes.

He sighed, "For you, I try." He climbed out and opened my car door for me. "You look exhausted, you should sleep. I have to take care of some business at the clubhouse but as soon as I get done, I'll be back here with you." He wrapped me in a hug and kissed me softly on the lips. "You sure you don't mind me leaving? If you want me to stay, I will."

I want him to stay more than anything and hold me in this bed, but being VP of SAMCRO is his job and I can't keep him from his work, "no you go ahead, I'll see you when you get back."

After another minute of kissing he lets me go and exits the house.

I wish he could see what I see, more than an outlaw, a sweet loving man that has so much potential to do great things in life. It's my goal to make him see his worth outside of the club.

 _ **Author's Note: I will explain Tara's childhood more later on in the story. It will explain her aversion to violence.**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**TARA'S POV**_

The serenity of the empty house should have been enough to let me drift off to sleep but instead every time I close my eyes the events of my abduction and rescue play on repeat in slow motion. I can't shake it away. Giving up on sleep, I decide to head to the clubhouse and see if Donna's there waiting on Opie to get finished working.

The clubhouse is quieter than I expected, the past few times I've drove by it they had a party going on.

"Hey girl." I sit down next to Donna who's reading a book over in the corner of the room away from the few people who are wandering around.

"Hey. I figured you'd be at home catching up with Jax." She waggled her eyebrows, "bom chicka wowwow." She chuckled.

"Shut up, there hasn't been any bom chicka wow wow yet. Actually he dropped me off and said he had some stuff to take care of here."

"Are you sure he said here because I've been here all night and haven't seen him?" She laid her book down in her lap, yawning and stretching her arms out in front of her.

"I don't know, I thought that's what he said." I shrug. "Where's Opie? Usually you two are all over each other about this time."

"Yeah, I know, Jax is cutting into my time," she giggled and rolled her eyes playfully, "he's with Half-Sac doing something that Jax asked."

"Is that the prospect?" I freeze, I'm still a little unsteady with names but things are starting to become a little clearer.

"Yep."

"Is it something medical?" I ask, really hoping that Jax wasn't lying to me.

"No, he said it's club stuff…why?" The shift in my expression but have alarmed her because I had her full attention now.

"SONOFABITCH!" I growl and dial Jax's number.

"Tara, what is it? What's wrong?" Donna placed her hand on my arm, starting to worry about whatever had me this upset.

"He's a lying asshole just like everyone else I've ever known. That's what's wrong. Can you do me a favor and call Opie and see where they are. Jax isn't answering."

"Okay, but first tell me what's going on?" She had her phone in her hands but she still stared at me waiting for an answer.

"Just make the damn phone call, I'll explain in the car," I groan in frustration, "please." I add.

"Fine." She did as she was asked. "Voicemail too, now explain."

"When he found me, he was going to hurt Jace or worse, but I told him if he did that then I wouldn't have anything else to do with him. He told me he let him go. I watched him leave, but then he whispered something to his prospect and then the prospect left behind Jace…" I paused letting her draw her own conclusion.

"Damn," she shook her head, "if they have Jace somewhere, I know where they might be. Come on."

She pulled into a lot with an abandoned barn, sure enough several of the bikes including Jax's are there.

"Someone's here bro." A gruff voice calls out; I recognize it as the guy who wouldn't let me go earlier.

Jax steps outside, saying he looked stunned would be the understatement of the year. "Babe? What are you doing here?" He looked from me to Donna who climbed out of the car arms crossed matching mine.

"Where is he?" I scowl at him, I'm not in the mood for games and I'm hoping that he gets that message loud and clear.

He stepped forward toward me, "Babe, you need to understand something…"

"NO!" I shout, a few of the other guys including Opie stood watching the showdown between Jax and me. "You lied to me. That's all I need to understand. You're just like every other male in my life. A liar. Now .HE?" I grit my teeth.

"You're right. I lied. I'm sorry for that. I couldn't let him walk away after the things he did to you." He stepped toward me again, but I backed away.

"Is he dead?" I choke out, reality slapping me in the face.

"No, he's fine. See for yourself." He motioned toward the doors. "I had planned to kill him, but you stopped me." He held up a finger to silence me when I started to speak, "not by showing up here. You stopped me in the car when you thanked me for putting your peace of mind above my need for justice. I came here to let him go and tell him how easy it was to bring him here in the first place, a reminder that if he ever comes near you or does anything to hurt you or your job, he will die."

I walk around him and see that he was telling the truth, Jace is fine, he looks extremely uncomfortable and afraid being surrounded by so many bikers but he's not bleeding and he doesn't look like he's in pain.

"We had two different upbringings babe. You didn't grow up in this world of violence. Defending those I love, by whatever means necessary, is all I know."

Did he just say he loves me in a roundabout way? I'll figure that out later. "You don't know shit about my upbringing. I have seen violence and I've seen an innocent person murdered due to the need to retaliate over something stupid. My mother was murdered the night of my ninth birthday, and I watched it happen, so I know all about violence." I angrily wipe the tears from my eyes.

All eyes on the lot were on me, waiting for me to explain. "Let him go."

Jax nodded to his guys and Jace was released. "This is the only warning you'll get. Stay away from her, don't even talk about her, believe me…I'll know if you do."

Jace nodded as he rushed from the barn and Jax's attention was back on me.

"I think we have a lot to discuss. It's clear I don't know anything about your past." Jax stepped toward me, his hands up, walking slowly like he was approaching a wild animal.

This time I didn't back away, "You still lied to me."

"I'm sorry babe. This is all new to me. You make me want to be different than the man I've been; the man I've been raised to be. I want to be someone you're proud to be with but this lifestyle it's who I am. I make mistakes, I fuck up a lot, but I need to know you can accept me for who I am not just who you want me to be. I can promise you this, from this moment on, I'll be nothing but straight up with you. I shouldn't have lied, but I needed to make sure he didn't hurt you again, but I didn't go through with it as much as I wanted to. We have a lot of shit to work through, but I'm willing to try babe, if you are."

I could see the truth in his words. He was being sincere and he was right, he was raised to protect others no matter the cost to someone else. Violence is in his blood. If we go through with this relationship, it will definitely take effort, his need for violence and my aversion to it will probably be the biggest battle we will ever face.

"Okay," I nod, "never lie to me again. As you can see, I'll figure it out if you do." I smirk, using some of the words he used with Jace.

"You should have been a detective instead of a Doctor." He winks and pulls me into his arms. I let him hug me to his chest, I feel him place a kiss to the top of my head.

The rest of the guys left, I figured most of them were waiting around to see if I would give any details of my past but when it was obvious that wasn't going to happen, they took off too.

"So are you going to tell me about your ninth birthday?" He whispered.

I sigh and bite my lip, "Later, but I do have one question," I smirk. "Did you say you loved me earlier?"

He tilts his head to the side and grins at me, "what are you talking about?"

I imitate his voice the best I could-not even close-"defending those I love, by whatever means necessary, is all I know."

"I guess you'll have to wait and see." He winks, giving nothing else away.

I climb on the back of Jax's bike and wrap my arms around him, resting my head on his back. I know he and Donna are wanting the details of my past, they have a right to know, but it doesn't make it any easier to talk about.

If he's ever going to understand my side of things, the reason I hate violence, then I don't have a choice but to tell him. I make up my mind, when we get back home, I'll tell him…everything.

 _ **Authors note: dundundun… I hope you enjoyed this chapter, the next will explain her past.**_

 _ **Thank you for all of you who take the time to leave reviews, your feedback keeps my motivation for this story going. If you haven't reviewed, please take a moment and let me know your thoughts on the story. Thanks**_ __ __


	11. Chapter 11

_**TARA'S POV**_

Donna, Opie, and Jax sat in the kitchen waiting for me to divulge my painful memories.

"When I start, let me finish, no interruptions of any kind or I won't continue. Everyone good with that?" I look at each one of them as they nod in agreement.

"My early childhood was fairly normal; my mother was my best friend. She went out of her way to make sure I had everything that I needed and most of what I wanted. Her world revolved around me. My father was hardly around, he worked out of town, so I rarely saw him which made my relationship with my mom that much stronger. I loved her more than anything or anyone else in the world. He drank a lot. When he was home he yelled a lot. I remember being punished for spilling my glass of milk. I remember him yelling at my mom for burning dinner when he had her distracted doing something else for him. He was an angry drunk, which brings me to my ninth birthday." I pause taking a breath, getting ready to tell these people the details of the worst night of my life.

"The morning of my birthday my mom got up earlier than usual to make me my favorite breakfast. She decorated the house with balloons and ribbons trying to make my day extra special. She wanted me to feel loved despite the growing tension between her and my dad. Of course at 9 years old, I noticed things with them were rocky, but I didn't know how bad they were. My dad spent the day out doing other things-my birthday didn't mean anything special to him." I saw Donna wipe a tear from her eye…I haven't even got to the worst part yet.

"My dad hadn't been home all day, he hadn't told me happy birthday, I love you or any other thing that most normal parents do for their kids. My mom tucked me in bed, sung me happy birthday I love you, one more time, and kissed me goodnight. If I had known it would be the last hug and kiss I ever got from her, I would have hugged her a little longer."

I took another breath, "My mom's screams woke me up, I ran to my door to see a man in a mask standing above her with a gun pointed at her head and her begging him to stop and asking why he was doing this. His answer changed me forever, ' _It's nothing personal, your husband took away the only person I ever loved, he killed my wife in a hit and run so now I will take his wife from him.'_ My mother peeked down the hall way to where I stood hiding behind my door frozen in place. Her eyes met mine for a brief second before she was gone. In the blink of an eye, this man had murdered my mother because of something he blamed my father for. My screams echoed through the house, he stalked toward me, knocked me unconscious, and that's all I remember until I woke up being examined at the hospital. I don't know why he didn't kill me; all I know is for a very long time I wish he would have."

I wiped a tear from my eyes, "My mother-my best friend-the only person to truly love me had been taken from me. My father had told me to keep silent about the information that I had. He told me that if I told someone about the hit and run accusation, then I would be put in foster care and some man would do bad things to me. I was afraid so I did the only thing I knew to do. Keep silent. My father made an appearance at my mother's funeral and was off again, when he did come home that night he wasn't alone. Her best friend was with him, hanging all over him, laughing about how 'the bitch was finally gone now they could be together.' He said he would need help raising me, that's why she was there. I hated him and I hated her and I'm certain they felt the same about me. I heard her begging him to just let me go into the system, and his answer never was, she's my daughter I can't do that. It was always if I put her in the system she'll talk and we will both be in trouble. 'We could always just kill her then, remember that little girl, if you even think about talking I will kill you.' I was afraid and he would just laugh and tell me to go clean something. I was scared to stay and even more scared to go, at least with him I knew what to expect. I knew most of it was all-talk just to scare and torture me."

Jax had his hands balled into fists like he was going to jump up and beat the shit out of someone. Donna's tears were still flowing, and Opie just looked stunned.

"My mother died because of a blind retaliation. The way I see it is violence is a never ending circle. My father ran over someone and didn't get them help, her husband attacked my mother, I dealt with the abuse from my father and his girlfriend for years. At some point you just have to ask yourself, if I do this because I'm angry, how will it affect someone else? Will that decision blowback on someone else? Will an innocent person pay the ultimate price for your need for revenge?"

Jax watched me carefully, his eyes misty, "I'm so sorry that happened to you and your mom." He pulled me down into his lap.

"Where did Jace come into the picture?" Donna asks.

"Jace and I started dating in high school. He was my escape from the reality of home. He came from a rich family-his dad was never fond of me, he said his son could do better than a drugged-up, alcoholic, no good's daughter. He didn't think I was worth the time of day. Jace, was sweet, he was my best friend. After a while I came to depend on him even more than I realized. We stayed together all through high school, college, med school, he was all I had after I moved away from that house. Maybe that's why I was so against you hurting him," I gave Jax a small smile, "but I think it's more to do with the fact that violence will always hurt an innocent person in the end. You hurt or kill someone, that person's family wants revenge, and so the story goes…"

Jax squeezed his eyes shut, "Shh…I understand." He kissed my lips. "I won't hurt him-unless he hurts you again-I promise."

I nod, it's the best answer I'm going to get from him. Even now that he knows my story, and my reasons, outlaw is still in his blood. It will always be apart of him. That's just something I'm going to have to accept. We have a lot to work through to make this work, two very different ways of thinking, but I really hope we can figure it out.


	12. Chapter 12

**_JAX POV_**

Mixed emotions run through me as Tara bares her soul to us, telling us the painful memories of her past. I want to bring brutal justice to all of those that ever had a hand in causing her pain. I can feel the tears welling up in my own eyes as I watch and listen to her choke out the harrowing moments that helped mold her into the beautiful strong woman she is today. I want to stop her and tell her she doesn't have to talk about it anymore, I don't want to cause her any more pain. I would be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued, this girl-this beautiful woman sitting in front of me has lived through so much pain and turmoil but she has overcome it with so much strength, compassion, grace, and dignity. By all right she should be bitter and be so full of hate but she is the opposite. She is truly amazing-so much more than I deserve. She would be better off without me, without my lifestyle but I know I'm too selfish to let her go. Now that I have her and know how absolutely stunning she is inside and out, I have to do whatever I can to keep her.

 ** _TARA POV_**

Without another word Donna pulled me in for a hug and held onto me, sobbing with me. I pull back and wipe my eyes.

"How does all of this work? You and Jax? You around the club?" Opie asked. He was staring at the floor like he was deep in thought.

"We'll figure it out bro." Jax answered before I could giving Opie a hard look.

"I don't mean any disrespect Tara, please don't think that I do. I'm just thinking big picture. You've explained your situation and although, I think if I would have been handed the hand you were dealt, my response would be a lot different, but you also have an idea of what SAMCRO does."

"That's ENOUGH, BRO." Jax growled.

"It's okay. Let him talk." I give Jax a small smile and nod for Opie to continue.

"If we deal with stuff the way you do or want us or more specifically Jax to, we're walking targets. It wouldn't take long for word to get out that SAMCRO has gone soft and won't retaliate when needed. People will take advantage and not only come at us but people we care for too. So you see it goes both ways, violence will come whether we seek revenge or not. This is the life, it slows down to the point that it's downright boring sometimes, but there are moments that we will have to take a stand. Those are the times I'm wondering where you'll be? Will you give Jax an ultimatum that could potentially get him killed or will you get in line and support him to make the tough decision." Opie gave me a side armed hug, "I care for you Tara, in just a short time you've became important to us, I just need you to understand our side of it too."

I give him a small smile and nod. "I do."

"Hey, I'm sorry about Op. He's a good guy, he just worries a lot." Jax laid down on the bed beside me.

"I see his point," I roll over and face him, "do what you have to do to be safe."

He stares deeply in my eyes, "I wish I would have known you then so I could have helped you and then that fucker never would have been in the picture."

"Me too," I scoot closer to him, "but I'm with you now and there's nowhere else I'd rather be."

"Me either."

He dropped his lips to mine, our tongues dancing together as he rolled over on top of me. My fingernails scraped against his back. He climbed off the bed, pulling me up with him, and took my shirt and bra off. He gently laid me back down and massaged my breasts. He trailed kisses down my body, flicking my nipples with his tongue. My body was on fire, it ached for more in a way I've never felt before. He tugged on my pajama bottoms and panties sliding them off in one fluid movement, "are you sure?" He hesitated. I nod and he slides a finger into my wetness. "Damn baby, you are so wet." He pants, and moves his finger faster and inserts another one. All at once he stops, removes his fingers, and slides down onto the floor on his knees and pulls me to where he has easy access. "I have to taste you." He moans before he slides his tongue in me.

"Ahhhhh." I moan out, my body spiraling down from the high his tongue had just caused. He wiped his mouth and smirked at me when my orgasm was finished. "You sure you want to go farther?" He asked, before pulling his boxers down revealing himself to me. I gulped. I have never seen anyone that big before…although I have only ever been with Jace. He placed himself at my entrance before gently pushing himself in. He paused letting me acclimate to his size, "you ready?" He whispered into my ear, kissing my earlobe. "Yes." I pant out. He moved slowly at first building speed with each thrust. Once I felt confident that I could handle his size-we actually fit together perfectly after my initial nerves let me relax-I flipped us so I was on top. He held my hips and guided me, I threw my head back moaning in pleasure. "FUCK TARA." He cried out before emptying himself in me the same time as my next orgasm hit me.

I collapsed onto his chest and he wrapped his arms around me holding me securely against him, "damn babe, that was great."

I could feel my cheeks getting hot, I had to admit I was worried that he wouldn't be satisfied since I'm nowhere near porn star material. I smile at him. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing, why?"

"You just looked like something was on your mind…" He rubbed circles on my back.

"No, I'm just glad it was good for you. I was worried when we started but I'm good now."

"Worried about what?" He sat us up so I was looking him in the eyes.

"It's nothing," I looked away, "I'm thirsty, you want something?"

"Hey, worried about what?" He placed his hand on my cheek so I had to look at him. I should have made something up…damn me and my honesty.

"You have been with a lot of girls…those girls include porn stars…I've only been with one person besides you, so I was worried I wouldn't be good enough or experienced enough to your liking."

His expression changed, he looked sad, "you were perfect babe. I have been with a lot of girls, that's not something I'm proud of now that I have you but out of all of those girls that I've been with, YOU are the best in all aspects including sexually. You don't have as much experience, but that only makes you that much better, baby." He kissed me softly, "I'll go get you something to drink." He jumped up and threw his clothes on.

He hands me a glass of water and undresses again, "I want to feel your skin against mine while we sleep, but I'm down for more of that if you're interested." He winks when I grin at him. "I'm just kidding, I know you're tired, I am too."

He pulls me against him so my back his flush against his chest.

When I wake up, it's still dark outside, sweat is rolling off of me. I untangle myself from him to check the thermostat. When I crawl back in bed, I take a few moments to admire him and his body. He's gorgeous. I'll never know what someone like him wants with someone like me, but I'm thankful he does. It's only been a little while but I can feel myself falling for him. I won't tell him right now; I don't want to scare him off. He says he cares for me and he takes care of people he loves but he's never came out and said he loves me so until then, I'll keep it to myself. I don't even know if what this is…is love…but I'm loving the idea of finding out.

 ** _Author's Note: Thanks for reading, sorry it took so long in between these last updates. Please leave a review and let me know what you think of the story so far. Much love to you all. x_**


	13. Chapter 13

The sun shining brightly through the windows pull me from my peaceful slumber, "shit, shit, shit. I'm late. I must have went back to sleep." I jump out of bed and throw on my work clothes.

"You're already late, just call out." Jax purrs.

"I can't. Have a good day." I blow him a kiss, I know that if I stop and kiss him he's going to turn on that Teller charm and do everything in his power to keep me from going to work today, so I play it safe and skip the kissing this morning.

"Running late?" Donna smirks in the lobby when I run through the hospital doors.

"Yep." I run up the stairs and hastily swipe my card in the clock, two minutes isn't too bad. My teeth aren't brushed and I didn't eat breakfast, and I'll probably have to listen to Jax bitch about the kiss thing but I made it. The rest will be okay too.

"You're with me today." Donna grins and throws her arm over my shoulder. "You could have been a few minutes late. I would have covered for ya."

"Wish I would have known that before I skipped out on breakfast." My stomach growls in agreement. Perfect timing.

"Forget to set your alarm?" She asks.

"No…at least I thought I set it. I don't know. I was so tired, so I guess it's possible I forgot."

"I hear Jax Teller has that effect on women." Donna chuckled.

"Haha!" I roll my eyes, "I really don't get it though." I say offhandedly.

"What?"

"How we fit together. He's outlaw. I'm a doctor. He's been with multiple experienced women; I've been with one other person besides him. We're just an odd pair, but as crazy as it sounds the outlaw and the doctor, I've never wanted anything more in my life. I just worry that he'll eventually want something that I can't give him." My own words were like a slap in the face, I hadn't even realized I was this worried until this moment.

"What is it you think he will want?" Donna questioned. She was staring at me now instead of the chart in her hand.

"I don't know, a relationship were he can be with anyone he wants to be with at any given time." I hate feeling this way. I don't even know why I am except for I worry that I'm falling for him this soon. Falling hard.

"You can't worry about things that you have no control over. If he does decide to that then he doesn't deserve you. Honestly, I don't think that he will. I've told you before that he's different with you than I've ever seen. He didn't sleep with anyone on the run and that's because of you. It's okay for you to let yourself be happy." She hugged me.

"I swore I wouldn't let myself fall in love again, it would only lead to heartbreak, but I couldn't not love him."

"You love him?" Donna's eyes were wide and she had the biggest smiled I'd ever seen.

"I think so." My shoulders slumped.

"Well don't look so down because I have it on good authority that he's falling for you, too." She winked and ducked into a patient room.

"Wait…what?" I followed behind her but had to put the conversation on hold for now.

He's said he's falling for me? As in he loves me? My head was spinning; I need to finish this conversation asap.

"So what did he say? I know it was to Opie who in turn told you…so now you can tell me." I state as soon as we walk back into the hallway.

"My lips are sealed." She grinned. She knew just how much this was tormenting me.

"You're supposed to be on my side." I huff and drop my head.

"I am but this is not my business. This is a conversation you need to be having with Prince Charming himself."

"I can't just say 'hey, I think I love you, do you feel the same' we're not in high school anymore. I don't want to scare him. I'll wait." I scowl. I hate waiting, she should just be my friend and tell me what he said. I roll my eyes at my inner thoughts, sure sounds like I'm in elementary school.

"Okay." She walks toward the next room laughing.

"Bitch." I mutter but smiling in response. I love her even if she is a pain in my ass.

By the time lunch got here I was starving. Skipping breakfast is not something I should make a habit of.

I was surprised to see Jax leaned up against the wall of the entry way of the cafeteria.

"Hey babe," he pushes off the wall and saunters toward me, "you left in such a hurry, you didn't even kiss me goodbye." He winks and kisses me darting his tongue in my mouth.

"Well…I had a feeling that me going to work was not on your list of ideas today and would have tried to occupy me with other activities…"

"That's probably true." He swats my ass and walks with me through the line to get my food.

"So Jax, what did you do? Turn her alarm off so you could hold her hostage all day today?" Donna asks as she sits down.

"Shh. Why you gotta tell her all of my secrets?" He gives her a stern look before smiling, "actually no, but that is a pretty good idea."

"No, it's not, Jackson Teller. Don't you get any ideas." I point my finger at her, "besides if you make me lose my job here, I'll have to move away to get another one and I don't think you'd like that too much."

"Good point." He answered but his mood changed, he looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I whisper, nudging him.

"Nothing. Everything is fine. I have to get back to work. We're leaving tonight on another run."

He said he was fine, but he definitely did not look or act fine and now he's leaving…again.

"Already? You pretty much just got back from one." I didn't mean to whine. This is his job just like working countless hours here in the hospital is mine.

"Couldn't be avoided. Sorry babe. That's why I'm here. I wanted to say goodbye before we left." He rubbed my back.

"For how long?"

"Not sure yet. I'll let you know as soon as I find out though. Hopefully not too long."

"Is Opie going to?" Donna questioned, I could sense her frustration, especially since he wasn't here saying goodbye now.

"No. Not this time." Jax answered but focused his attention back on me. "I'll see you soon." He placed his hands on each side of my face kissing me softly.

"Okay. Be careful." I choke out. I hate saying goodbye to him especially when he acts like something is bothering him and not telling me what it is.

"Always." He kissed my forehead one last time before leaving.

"Well…that just ruined my excitement for going home." I sigh. I miss him already and have no clue when he's coming back.

"Well Gemma was wondering if we'd come by the clubhouse and help her out with somethings so we won't have to go home right away." Donna replied. That didn't help much but it's something I guess. At least I don't have to be alone while he's gone.

The clubhouse was quieter than I had ever seen it. Half of the guys were gone with Jax, much of those being the rowdy ones that have the TM in a constant party.

Gemma wanted us to help her redecorate.

"JT, why did you send my man out so soon after getting back?" I smile at Jax's father.

"What?" JT asked, he looked confused.

"I was kidding. I asked why you sent Jax on another run so soon after getting back from the last one."

The exchange between JT and Opie left me feeling uneasy. "Oh, yeah, sorry about that sweetheart, he was needed there." JT finally answered.

I had a gut feeling that something from off especially after the way he acted at lunch today.

"Op, can I talk to you for a minute?" Opie squeezed his eyes shut, he knew what I wanted to talk about and by the looks of it didn't want to have this conversation.

"Uh…sure." He follows me out of the clubhouse.

"What was all that about?" I ask when we get outside.

"What's that?"

"You know what? Why did JT act like he didn't know what I was talking about? Did he not send Jax? Did Jax volunteer to go? If so, why? What happened? Did I do something?" The questions were flying out of my mouth before my brain could process the thoughts clearly.

"Slow down." Opie held up his hands in surrender. "JT probably just didn't understand what you were asking at first."

"Bullshit," I hiss, "tell me the truth." I stare at him, "please." I whisper.

"I don't know what to tell you, Tara. I wish I did. He told me this afternoon he was going, that's all I know. He wouldn't leave you if he didn't have a choice though so don't think on it too hard." He patted my shoulder and hurried away.

I don't believe that at all. I think something I said upset him and he used this run as an excuse to get away. I don't know if this is the end of us or he just needed time to think. I hate not knowing. That's the hardest part. If this isn't what he wants then I'm glad he's realizing it so soon in the relationship, although my heart feels like it's being ripped out just at the thought, but at least I won't get any more attached than I already am. Maybe I'm being delusional and stupid and he really did need to go and is not avoiding me. All I know is we definitely need to talk when he gets back.


	14. Chapter 14

It's been three days since Jax took off and he hasn't called or texted me at all. I didn't anticipate how sad I would be if things didn't work out between us.

"Girl you need to quit moping." Donna nudged me gently.

"I know. I just wish I knew what happened."

"Why don't you go talk to him then, they got back this morning. Go ahead and go, I'll cover for you. He's at TM."

My heart was hammering against my chest, "he's back?" He came home and didn't tell me. My emotions are all over the place. I need answers and I need them now.

He was at TM just like Donna said he would be. He was standing at the bar drinking and chatting it up with Op.

"I thought you were different." I growl standing directly behind him, anger taking precedence over my heartbreak, "you made me fall in love with you and then you do what you did." I hadn't actually meant to say that I loved him out loud.

He at least had the decency to look upset, "let's talk somewhere more private." He placed his hand on my lower back and guided me to his room. "What the hell…"

"Shut up. You listen to me. You lied to me. You told me that you were sent on that run but in all honesty you volunteered to go. You _chose_ to go and then you _chose_ to not contact me."

"Tara," he squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists together, "it's not what you think. I mean you're right. I needed time to think so I left for a few days and that's why I didn't call. I was upset. I didn't want to say something that I would regret."

"…upset about what?" I interrupted him again, my frustration taking place of my manners.

"I don't even know. It was stupid. You made it sound like your job was the only reason you're here. I was wrong to just leave and I'm sorry. This is all new to me babe, these feelings are all new so I wasn't sure how to react. I didn't want to fuck up and say something stupid out of anger…"

I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes, "…so you just walk away and don't say anything at all and expect things to be better. Yeah, that makes perfect sense."

"Stop interrupting me," he scowled, "I made a mistake. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I've never been in love before so I will mess up from time to time babe." He watched me let his words sink in, he just said he loved me…well sort of. He reached for my hand.

" _IF_ you want this to work between us, you have to communicate with me. You should have told me that's how you were feeling. I was kidding about leaving. I mean I would have to get another job but I would try to find one that I could commute to. I wouldn't want to leave you, Jax." I wrap my arms around his waist, "I thought you didn't want this anymore."

"To be such a smart girl babe, that's a stupid thing to think." He kissed my forehead. "I've never wanted anything more than I wanted you and that's why it fucked with me when I thought you weren't feeling the same way."

"Then you must be blind." I snuggle my head into his chest momentarily before stepping back, "you didn't sleep with anyone else while you were _thinking,_ did you?"

"No." He answered after a short pause.

"You can tell me if you did." I held my breath waiting for his reply.

"Look at me," he tilted my chin up, "I have not had sex with anyone but you." He gazed into my eyes. I still had a bad feeling, although I wanted to believe him more than anything.

"So no kind of sexual contact?" I felt him stiffen.

"I told you **NO**." He hissed. He was annoyed.

"I'm sorry. You said you didn't have sex and I didn't know if that meant you did have something else. You have a reputation Jax, I'm sorry, but it was a legitimate worry."

"I'll give you that. I get that you're upset and you were worried but you can't use my reputation against me. I haven't had sex with anyone else since we started hangin out. I won't fuck this up over a random fuck or blow job. I will make mistakes babe, a lot of them, but that's not one of them. I can promise you that."

"That's good. Cheating of any kind will be a deal breaker. I will move away from here and never look back if I hear that you cheated. Just as long as we're clear on that, we will be good." I smile, throw my arms around his neck, and he kisses me passionately lowering me to the bed.

I still don't know how we will ever work out, the outlaw and doctor, but just the few days without him drove me crazy so I know now more than ever that I will fight for us. I will support him but I won't take any shit from him either.

AN: I'm sorry for the short chapter. It's my daughter's 9th birthday Saturday so I've spent most of this week preparing for that. I'll try to update again early next week, if not before. Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N: I wanted to thank you all for reading and reviewing. You have no idea how much your kind words can motivate me to write more. I've always been unsure of myself when it comes to my stories ever since my first one…but all of you that take the time out to let me know how much you enjoy it means the world to me. So thank you again from the bottom of my heart!**_

 **JAX POV**

It wasn't too long ago I relished the idea of how many women I could fuck in a week. Now that I've met Tara, I'm kicking my own ass. I never dreamed I would be embarrassed about my history but I never imagined I'd ever find a girl like her either. I fear my reputation will be the death of me…so to speak.

"Take some time off work, let's go on a trip somewhere. Just you and me." I need to prove to her that I'm all in with this relationship, I have a feeling my word won't be enough.

"That would be great, but I just can't. I haven't been there long enough to take time off yet. You know that."

Of course she's denying me, we've had this argument about her not working since the abduction. She's stubborn as hell, that's part of the reason I fell for her so hard. That and the fact that she's smokin' hot and brutally honest. Shit, she's got it all she's beautiful, funny, probably the smartest chic I know, she's not afraid to put me in my place…fuck me… Op's right I am pussy whipped.

"You can. You just won't." I can be stubborn too. "We need this. I fucked up, let me make it up to you. Let me love you babe." Jesus, I sound like chic right now.

"You can make it up to me…" she grinned at me, my cock sprang into action, "you can **NEVER** pull a stunt like that again. We're adults not three year olds so let's act like it. Okay? If we have a problem…talk about it. Don't disappear for days."

Cock deflated along with my pride. She just compared me to a child. I know she's right. I can be the biggest baby there is…of course I won't say that out loud.

"Yes ma'am, but I still think we should take this trip."

She sighed. "Drop it Jax. I can't. At least not right now. Let me try to work out something with the scheduling but it will be at least a few weeks out if not more."

"Fine. Okay. Whatever you say." I was pissed, there was no denying that. I understand where she's coming from but that doesn't mean I'm not disappointed. I had actually got time off from the club for this.

"I'm sorry," she wrapped her arms around my waist, "I want to go. You have no idea how bad I want to go. How about you make it up to me here…now…I don't go in until the evening shift tomorrow." She purred.

My cock sprung back to life, "fuck me." I panted when she ran her fingers down the length of my dick poking through my jeans. I hadn't even meant to say it out loud.

"That's the plan." She giggled. Ahh that laugh made my shaft throb that much more.

Feeling her hot breath on my neck, her nails digging into my back had me on the verge of explosion. The little moan she let out when I penetrated her, was almost my undoing but I paused letting myself calm down before I started pumping into her with all I had hoping to get her to climax before I did. There's no way in hell I'm cumming before her. If she was any other girl I wouldn't give a shit, but I want her to feel just as satisfied…if not more…satisfied as me. Luckily it didn't take long because I don't think my dick would have held out much longer, her back arched and she cried out my name and I emptied myself into her.

"MMM…" She moans out. "That was great."

"You are great." Fuck, that was corny as hell but the small smile and blush I was answered with was worth it.

"You're pretty great too, Teller." She smiles up at me. I want to see that smile for the rest of my life. I want to be the reason she smiles like that for the rest of our lives.

It's official someone revoked my man card, but if this is the penalty…I'll take it.


	16. Chapter 16

_**TARA POV**_

Jax and I had spent the night and next day completely absorbed in each other. We only left the bedroom to rehydrate. I never imagined I could feel so 'in love' again so soon after everything with Jace. There's a part of me that wonders if it's even possible to love again so soon but when he looks at me, my heart skips a beat, I get butterflies, I can't picture anywhere else I'd rather be. When he's gone, I feel like I'm not complete until he's back in my arms. It must be love.

It took a lot of effort and even more self-control to pull myself away from him when I had to head to the hospital, especially when he rubbed my hand over his erection.

"Ugh I have to go. Stop. You're going to get me fired." I giggle. I can't be upset with him for wanting me to stay, hell, I don't want to go either.

"So you can stay home and I'll take care of you…in every aspect. You don't need to work." He grinned. I narrowed my eyes at him playfully, "okay fine. Go. Be a big time surgeon. I'll be here when you get back." He placed his hands gently on each side of my face and kissed me passionately. "Have a good night, love you."

My heart picked up intensity, he just said he loved me. Yes, he's said it before when trying to make a point but he's not came out and said it in goodbye until just now. It was a milestone in our relationship. "I love you too, baby."

"Wait," he said throwing his jeans on, "I'll give you a ride to the hospital."

I couldn't deny this made the night even better, I would get a few more minutes with him at least. He took the long way to the hospital and normally I would have complained that he was going to make me late but right now all I wanted was to be close to him, inhaling his scent, so I was grateful for the extra five minutes it took to get there.

"What time do you get off?" He lifted me off his bike and held me close to him.

"Around five."

"I'll be here." He brushed his lips against mine.

"Donna's working the same shift, I can catch a ride with her so you don't have to get up so early. We've been going at it pretty much non-stop, I'm sure you're exhausted. Get some sleep, baby." I object. If I could sleep right now, I sure as hell would.

"Listen woman, I said I would be here to pick you up. Now get your ass in there and get this night done so you can hurry home to me." He grinned.

"Yes sir." I playfully saluted him. "Love you." I kissed him one more time before turning to walk inside, reluctantly.

The roar of the motorcycle leaving made my heart hurt.

"Well, haven't seen much of you lately." Donna chuckled, meeting me by the door. "Get any sleep?"

"Barely." I shrug. "Oddly enough I feel more alert and ready to go than ever."

"I've heard a night of good sex does that to people." She winked.

"Must be true then."

"Well I'm glad you guys worked things out. You two are good together. YOU are good for him." Donna stated more seriously.

"I am too. I'm just kind of thrown at how fast everything is moving. I wouldn't change it because I've never felt anything like this before. I thought I loved Jace but now I think I just loved the idea of having someone there, even if they were a world class asshole."

"If you're worried about it, slow things down." She replied.

"No," I shake my head, "it's not like that. I love how things are going. We finally feel like we're on the same page. At least I think he is. My insecurities Jace left me with drive me crazy but Jax did tell me he loved me, and I know I love him. This need to be with him every single second of the day or I feel like ripping my hair out is crazy but it's a crazy I can deal with." I laugh. It's hard to put what I'm feeling in words. There's not enough words in the world to describe how I feel about that man.

Donna snorted, "you got it bad, my friend. You just got here and you've already looked at your watch three times."

"I have not." I blushed.

"Yes, you have." She giggled.

I shrug my shoulders, "see I guess my subconscious is making my point for me."

…..LETMELOVEYOULETMELOVEYOULETMELOVEYOULETMELOVEYOU….

 _ **JACE POV**_

"Hey sweetheart," I roll my eyes when Clarissa picks up the phone, "have you been keeping an eye on Tara like I asked you to?" I had to pick the dumbest nurse in the hospital, but she had been obsessed with me since I started at Saint Thomas so I knew she would do as I asked…and do it discreetly. Also she's the one that didn't put herself out there with Tara so most likely Tara doesn't even know her…or know she has anything to do with me.

"Yes." She purred. "I miss you."

"Miss you too." I wasn't attracted to this girl at all but I figure if I play along she will keep doing my bidding. "You can come visit me soon and taste my cock," I pause listening to her moan in response, "…if you're a good girl and get me everything I asked for."

"I've taken some pictures at the hospital but she's been with Teller the majority of the time at the clubhouse."

I bang my fist down onto the table, of course she's with Teller. An idea occurred to me. "Okay here's what I want you to do. I want you to spend time at the clubhouse and I want you to seduce Teller. Plan it so Tara walks in on it. Leave the door unlocked."

"I don't know if that will work, he looks like he's only interested in Tara." She answered. "I mean I'll try. He's hot…not as hot as you." She clarified.

"Be your irresistible self. You're gorgeous, baby. You can get any man to fuck you. Tara don't have anything on you." I swallowed the vomit in my mouth. This bitch had nothing on Tara but if I can give her more confidence, the better she will perform. "Low cut top with clear visual of your tits." The girl did have some nice tits, she had that going for her. "If you succeed, I will let you come here and have anything you'd like." I grin when she hungrily agrees. Dumb bitch, if she succeeds Tara will be so broken hearted, I can swoop back in and get my girl. I could get her now if I really tried, but I have to play it smart around the outlaw assholes…I won't have a chance if they gang up on me.

Clarissa is going to make her move on Teller tonight while Tara is working. If all goes as planned, I'll have my girl back by the end of the week at the latest.


	17. Chapter 17

**JAX POV**

"Who is that?" Happy asked checking out the new girl that just walked into the clubhouse.

I shrug, "I've never seen her around here before." She looks familiar to me but most of the girls in here look, act, and dress almost identical to the one beside them.

"New ass. I'm definitely gonna hit that." Happy grinned back at me as the new girl approached us.

"Hello," she purrs, "my name is Clarissa but you can call me Clairy."

"Can I get you a drink beautiful?" Happy winks at the girl. I'm surprised he's not drooling. He's the first one to jump on a hook-up with a new girl, as he says he hates fucking the same pussy repeatedly. This girl is just what he's been waiting for.

"No thanks," She gives him a polite smile and turns to me, "but you can handsome."

"Fuck you then bitch." Happy scoffs and then starts eyeing his next victim, leaving the over-willing girl smiling seductively at me seemingly unfazed by Happy's retort.

"Give me two beers, Sandy." I order and hand one of them over to Clairy. "Have a good night." I wink at her and start to walk away.

"Wait," she places her hand on my chest sliding it down my shirt, down my jean-covered cock, and back up resting it on my chest, "don't leave so soon." She bites her lip. I'm not interested in this girl at all but Tara's been at work for most of the day so my dick definitely responded to the fondling.

"Sorry darlin, I've got shit to do." I gently remove her hands from my chest and step back leaving her standing there with a sour expression.

I retreat to my room, take my belt off, and lay down on the bed missing Tara more than ever. I chuckled to myself. I never pictured me being so whipped over a girl that I'd turn down hot willing pussy but here I am, hiding out in my room until my girl can be here with me.

"Hey, sorry to bother you." Clairy stated when I answered her incessant knocking. "All of the restrooms are full, mind if I use yours? I'll be quick, I promise." She pressed her thighs together and did a little wiggle.

"Sure. It's in there." I agreed pointing her in the right direction.

"Thanks."

"No problem." I brush past her and sit back down on my bed.

I look at the clock after a few minutes, in and out my ass. The bathroom door opens and she's standing in front of me completely naked groping her tits. "My pussy is so wet baby, please help me." She removes one hand sliding it down and sinking a finger inside herself.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. "There's plenty of guys out there who would love to help you out darlin." My voice comes out in more of a whimper, my cock sprang to life, betraying me.

She slid down to her knees in front of me tugging my boxers and jeans down quickly, "mmmm he doesn't look like he wants me to go." She stuck the tip of my cock in her mouth, licking along the length of my shaft.

I threw my head back, it felt amazing-definitely what my dick wants-but Tara's face filled my mind, "get dressed and get out." I push her back and slide my jeans back up, grab my belt and secure it.

She sat back on her knees stunned, "what's wrong with me? Am I so ugly that even Jax Teller doesn't want anything to do with me? I've heard the rumors you fuck anything with legs and tits so what's wrong with me?" She cries out.

"Nothing," I groan, kneeling down, "look you're beautiful and if things were different this would definitely be happening but I'm not single and I can't do this." I wipe a tear from her eyes.

"I've heard about SAMCRO, what happens when your old lady isn't around is okay." She whines.

"Get dressed darlin."

"I can make you feel good." She moans.

The door opens and Tara's standing there looking at me to Clairy back to me with her mouth gaped open.

"It's not what it looks like." I quickly state standing up and walking over to her.

Her furious eyes land on mine before turning them to Clairy, "he doesn't need you to make him feel good bitch, he's got all he can handle with me. Now do what he said and get the fuck out before you see my unpleasant side." She hisses, obviously hearing part of the conversation so I felt a little relief knowing that she knows I turned her down. She brought her eyes back to me ignoring the girl scrambling back into the bathroom to get her clothes. "Tell me what happened. Tell me the truth-all of it."

I sigh, "she made a move on me out there, I denied it and came in here. She asked to go to the bathroom because the ones out there were full."

"….and you bought that?" Tara scoffed with an eye roll interrupting me.

"She used the bathroom," I continued ignoring the jab, "she slid down in front of me pulling my jeans down and stuck…it in her mouth." I clench my eyes shut waiting for the explosion that was sure to come, but she just stood there listening intently. "I stopped her and told her to leave."

She nods and turns the bathroom door banging on it loudly, "get the fuck out here whore."

Clairy opens the door and timidly stands in front of my spitfire girlfriend, Tara doesn't say another word as her fist connects with Clairy's nose. "Nasty slut, did you really think he would pick you over me?" Tara hit her again.

"I'm sorry," Clairy cried out, "he told me to do it."

"Lying bitch." Jax and Tara said in unison as Tara hit her again and grabbed her by her hair.

"I mean Jace." She whimpered as Tara released her grip on her hair, she pinched her nose to stop the bleeding. "He said it would be easy."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jax growled.

"He told me to come here and seduce you, he said you were outlaw and a womanizer you wouldn't be able to turn me down. He said he wanted me to do it so Tara would walk in on it and leave you. I'm sorry, I just wanted to be with him…Jace I mean, not you." She quickly clarified.

"So you thought messing things up between me and Jax would help you get with Jace? How did you come to that conclusion?" Tara questioned with her squinted eyes.

"He told me if I did it, he would be with me."

"You do realize he was just using you right? In his warped mind, I'm sure he thought if he broke Jax and me up then I'd run back to him and if that was the case then you would have done his dirty work with nothing to show for it."

"Actually I figured that out after you hit me, which is why I told you both the truth. If I don't succeed he's just going to keep trying with someone else or some other method, I'm sure. I guess I should thank you for literally knocking some sense into me. I'm sorry."

"Just go." Tara insisted with a wave of her hand, which in turn had Clairy flinching. "I should have known he wouldn't give up." She rolled her eyes and hugged me.

My anger had me shaking. "I should have killed him when I had the chance."

She looks up at me, "hey," she forces me to look at her, "just let it go. I love you."

I scoff, "he tried to fuck things up between us babe, I can't just let that slide."

"What are you going to do? Kill him? You think murdering someone who tries to break us up is logical? If you do that then you'll be a serial killer because I'm sure there's always going to be someone who doesn't like the fact that we're together. Grow up. We just have to be smart and not let him come between us and as long as he stays away and doesn't try to physically hurt me or you then what's the problem? Stop being so dramatic. It's not life or death. At least it doesn't have to be."

"THE POINT IS I'M NOT GOING TO STAND BY AND WAIT FOR HIM TO GET TIRED OF FAILED ATTEMPTS AND KIDNAP YOU AGAIN OR WORSE!" I didn't mean to shout at her but I can't believe she's standing here defending him after everything he's put her-us-through. She's making it seem as though my concerns are invalid or dumb.

"So we will be more careful." She responds with her hands on her hips staring me down.

I can see she's never going to agree to me doing what I know I have to do. I scowl, pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration, "Fine." As much as I hate the idea of lying to her, I can't risk him hurting her again no matter the consequences.

"Promise you won't do something crazy?" She wraps her arms around my waist and stares up at me.

"Yes." That's an easy promise to make because I don't see protecting the girl I love as being crazy. I kiss the tip of her nose. "I need a drink." I take her hand and lead her to the bar trying to keep my anger under control. She's new to this life and the way things are done so I can't expect her to completely understand the way things are done. Not yet. I hope she can one day get on board because this life-relationship-will be almost impossible if she doesn't.

"Get the guys together, we need to have church." I whisper to Op as soon as Tara's distracted talking to Donna. "I need Tara to think JT called it."

He looks at me with a confused expression but nods and heads to round up the guys.

"Hey bro," he comes back after a few minutes, "JT called church. Five minutes."

"I'll be back in a few. Love you." I kiss her quickly and follow behind Opie.

"What's going on?" Op questions as soon as we're out of earshot.

"Jace." I hiss.

He nods in understanding without needing more information.

"What's going on JT?" The guys come into the room some of them looking annoyed and zipping up their pants.

"Hell if I know," JT shrugs, "Op just said for everyone to get here."

"I called it." I look around the room, "that fucker that kidnapped Tara is back well sort of. That girl that was here earlier that turned Happy down-he sent her. He's trying to fuck things up with us so she takes him back."

"Tara's smart son, she won't take him back." JT answers.

"I know but I'm afraid he won't stop there. I'm afraid if these attempts fail then he will try something more drastic like he did before and I can't let that happen." I look around at all of the guys, "I promised her after he kidnapped her that I wouldn't do anything unless he hurt her again but I can't take that chance. He was warned to stay away and he refused. I've got to react."

"What about the stuff she told you about her family life bro?" Opie replies, "I mean I'm all for this, don't get me wrong, I'm just making sure you remember everything she said."

"I do." I nod. "That's another thing, did you find out anything about what we talked about?" I ask Juice. I've got him digging into Tara's father and his bitch. The story seemed odd to me, almost as if they were responsible for Tara's mom's death rather than a retaliation for something her dad did. Of course I won't mention that to Tara, not until I'm one hundred percent certain, but if I'm right she may change her mind on the violence. Doubtful. She's a healer, not a killer.

"Not yet, still working on it." Juice answers.

"So what do you want to do?" Bobby asks me.

"I think you should let us handle it," Opie interjects thoughtfully, "Tara is good for you and if you do something and break your promise to her then you're going to fuck that up. For the first time since I can remember you seem happy and at peace. Let us do this."

"I appreciate that but this is on me. He's fucking with my girl. I will deal with it."

"Op's right son, I think you should sit this one out." JT disagrees with me.

"If it was mom, you'd be there." I object, "or Donna" I turn to Opie. "None of you guys would still be sitting here arguing about it if the roles were reversed and it was your old ladies."

"Yeah, but our old ladies expect that of us. Tara doesn't. She doesn't want you to kill anyone, she made that clear. This is your choice but when she finds out she's going to have your balls or you'll end up without her." Opie's shaking his head. "You should really think about it before you decide."

"Aight," I nod, "do we still know where he's hiding out?"

"Nah, we lost track of him after the last time she put you in your place." Juice chuckled.

"Find him. This ends as soon as possible. Oh and this goes without saying but NO ONE mention anything about this to anyone outside of this room." I make my way back out to Tara who is still chatting it up with Donna.

"What was that about?" She asks.

"JT wants to do something special for mom for their anniversary." I grin at her, hoping she doesn't see through my bullshit. Luckily their anniversary really is in a couple of days.

"That's nice." She smiles back at me, relief floods through me as her mood lightens.

Maybe I should take the guys up on their offer and keep my hands clean on this one. I just don't think I can do that. He kidnapped her, I gave him a pass with a warning to forget about her. He refused and is planning who knows what, can I really just sit by and let someone else do my dirty work? I'm not a pussy. I can handle my own and Tara's my responsibility but if I do follow through with it, I don't want to lose her. I'll have to make her understand it was necessary and unavoidable.

 **a/n: please review!**


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